Pinhole View: A Trilogy

[nekot]

There is a long story behind this trilogy. I'll post the 3 prose in 3 separate posts.


Prose one: June 2005

My heart, so heavy.
My heart, so empty.
My well of love, dry.

I look inside.
I look to God.
I look
but my heart remains low.

Where has my passion gone?
Where has my life been thrown?
Where can I find the way?

Father, daily I cry within my heart.
Daily I want to run away.
Daily I feel a desperation.

I know not where to turn.
I know not how to find answers.
My tears fall continually inside.

Will you hold my hand?
Will you manifest what I am to do?
Will you make it clear?

I ask timidly,
with doubt of my every move.

My heart, so very heavy.
My heart, so very sad.
My heart, so very empty.

My soul, flooded with tears.....

june, 2005
****************************************************

[nekot]

Prose two: December 2005

My heart cried out to the forces that be.
"Where are you?
Can you hear me?
Do you exist?
Dare I believe?"

My heart craved, yearning to find its place.
In this great big world among the human race.

"Where do I fit?
Where do I belong?
So many choices...
What if I'm wrong?"

I tried to fit
So many places
Among different groups
Diverse faces.

Times of elation, times of doubt
Times of exuberance, times of remorse.
"Where do I turn, where do I stake
this life of mine? Upon what course?"

For awhile I settled for mediocrity,
But then my soul suffered emptily.
I searched, pondered through many books
Philosophies, answers
in so many nooks.

Then I came back full circle
to Jesus Christ and God's Word.
I found myself humbled, small again.
Was I the wiser for wandering?
Aye? Nay?
Of the answer I am uncertain.
But humbled I am
I trust my heart
will stay honest
open
upon this new old course.

december, 2005
*****************************************************

[nekot]

Prose three: February 2006

He lived His life an obedient one.
He loved and foresaw what was to come.
It was this love, this vision, this purpose
that spurred Him to do.
His life was the sacrifice for me, for you.

What am I to do, one so weak, so small?
How do I respond to this magnificent call?
He simply says
"Come. Rest. Relish.
in the work I have done."

"Take it. Accept it. I did it for You.
Embrace it. Hold it. For it is all true.
Hide it within. Take it to heart.
This is the reason I gave my all.
For you my child, my friend."

"Once you embrace it, please step aside.
Allow me entree to work within.
As you cast all your care upon me...
all the guilt....
all the shame.....
all the sickness...
all the pain...
You shall find freedom
You shall bask in a love
Beyond."

"Step aside. Allow me access.
Listen....
Listen....
Trust I know what is best.
Then take the step...
of me working within."

"I will guide, transform your heart.
But my child, you first must start.
By simply accepting all I have done.
To make you righteous as God's daughter, God's son."

february, 2006

[heinzs]

[nekot]

Somehow missed my bow here. How the heck could I do that? I need all the bows I can get.

Thank you sir... and here's to you:

[Red Claw]

Ok I would bow if I knew how to use those little icon things.

[nekot]

Thanks dearest Red Claw.

two bows...it's established... ( I assume you learned Bullinger while at the river?)

Emoticons:

When you click "post reply" the emoticons should appear to the left of this here screen where you are posting. Click an emoticon and it should appear in you postie.

I had to undo/allow/or somethin' "scripts" on my firefox to allow the emoticons. You might have to do something like that...but i'm puter challenged and am limited in that category.

[Red Claw]

ah Bullinger...yes. Let's meet at the river!

[Tom Watson]

Nekot, this is truly a wonderful portrait of a journey all may take at one time or another...unfortunately, not all journeys end as gracefully as this. Glad I came across this writing of yours. A beautiful example of why you are our Poet Laurette

Have another two bows..


Tom

[nekot]

Thank you for the kind words Tom. I humbly accept a couple more bows... actually I'm hoarding as many as are offered.

Rereading these brings to mind The Beatles song "It's a Long and Winding Road." It sure hasn't been straight; not sure about short.

T'anks again...
~carol

[bags123]

I think the experiences you've described via your "Trilogy" are not uncommon. We are curious creatures. To the point of becoming dangerous to ourselves at times. Personally,..... I like to go with the mystery, and to let it remain so. Part of it's charm really. When you think about it. Thanks for sharing Carol. I enjoyed.

[nekot]

Thanks Bags...

I've never been a danger to myself. (joke!! )

[gordy]

[purplelionness]

the Lord is mercyful, mighty and wise. A trilogy

[nekot]

Thanks again for reading and commenting purplelioness!