Rush, Drew

[Drew Rush]

<center>Drew_Rush</center>

<a name="#top">Table of Contents</a>

<a href="#one"> Tear </a>
<a href="#two"> Children Holding Guns </a>
<a href="#three"> The Wicked Things </a>
<a href="#four"> Organized Random Thought </a>
<a href="#five"> The So-Called Righteous </a>
<a href="#six"> Eve of Destruction (kind of a remix) </a>
<a href="#seven"> Teardrops of Wax </a>
<a href="#eight"> Sporadic </a>
<a href="#nine"> Born to (Dis)please </a>
<a href="#ten"> No Words Can Describe This </a>
<a href="#eleven"> Terrible </a>
<a href="#twelve"> Cannot Sleep </a>
<a href="#thirteen"> I Saw It Happen </a>
<a href="#fourteen"> It All Leads Up To This </a>
<a href="#fifteen"> Barcode </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... ixteen">[b] New Millenium Bullshit [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... enteen">[b] Not Me [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... ghteen">[b] Fake, False, Charade, Etc. [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... neteen">[b] Fall Into You [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... twenty">[b] For Me [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =15#twenty one"> You Wouldn't Understand </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =15#twenty two"> It's the Stage </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =15#twenty three"> Primal Orders </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =15#twenty four"> The Child </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =15#twenty five"> Aggravation </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =15#twenty six"> Dead Tomorrow </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =15#twenty seven"> Innocence? </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =15#twenty eight"> I Tried </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =15#twenty nine"> Obscure </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... thirty">[b] Someday Maybe [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =30#thirty one"> Words of the Mute </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =30#thirty two"> Accused </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =30#thirty three"> What Cannot Be </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =30#thirty four"> Untitled Thought </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =30#thirty five"> Slow Suicide </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =30#thirty six"> She's Mine </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =30#thirty seven"> Banging of the Drums </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =30#thirty eight"> Left To Die </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =30#thirty nine"> Ode To Cigarettes </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... #forty">[b] I Depress Myself [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=30#forty one"> Untitled </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=30#forty two"> A Sigh </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=30#forty three"> Sonnet 1 </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=30#forty four"> Smiling Suicide </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=30#forty five"> Forgive </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#forty six"> A Mind is a Terrible Thing... </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#forty seven"> Ego </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#forty eight"> Loathing Suicide </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#forty nine"> Guild of Immortality </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... #fifty">[b] Come, My Evil Angel [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#fifty one"> Everyday Cliché </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#fifty two"> Mother </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#fifty three"> I Would </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#fifty four"> Inhumane </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#fifty five"> Exposed </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#fifty six"> Of Words and Whores </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#fifty seven"> The Great Escape </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#fifty eight"> Hell </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=45#fifty nine"> The Dance </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... #sixty">[b] Graduating From Cedar Hell High School [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=60#sixty one"> Coma </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=60#sixty two"> Awakening </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=60#sixty three"> Money and the World Without It </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=60#sixty four"> The Dead </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=60#sixty five"> Anti-Love Release (explicit) </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=60#sixty six"> Depressing Music </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=60#sixty seven"> Like Children </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=60#sixty eight"> Virgins and Whores </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... t=60#sixty nine"> The Warrior </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... eventy">[b] Death Has Feelings Too [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 60#seventy one"> Justice Maker </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 60#seventy two"> A Resurrected Self </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 60#seventy three"> Too Young </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 60#seventy four"> Goodnight </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 60#seventy five"> On Your Knees </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 75#seventy six"> Phantom Girl </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 75#seventy seven"> Terrible Parents </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 75#seventy eight"> Where? (My Fear) </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 75#seventy nine"> 1000 Dead Roses </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... eighty">[b] The Stamina For Immortality [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =75#eighty one"> My Chambers </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =75#eighty two"> Evil I Am (revised) </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =75#eighty three"> Midnight Confessional </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =75#eighty four"> Essence of Darkness </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =75#eighty five"> Life, Love, Tragedy </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =75#eighty six"> Blood Education </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =75#eighty seven"> ForcingMySelfMutilation </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =75#eighty eight"> Without </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =75#eighty nine"> Goth In White </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... ninety">[b] Faith in Rain [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =90#ninety one"> To Save a Soul</a>

___________________

<a name="#one"> Tear </a>

I saw you cry those painful tears
I know the things you felt those years
But we know the pain wont go away
Until it is our life’s very last day
It’s sad to think about what we should of done
Seems our past was just an illusion
Children are told to look at me
And see that I am not good to be
I felt myself cry those painful tears
As I give in to my deepest fears
You always were there for me
But that is just what used to be
We like to look at what we had
Though it makes us feel sad
Children shriek at the sight of me
Because my pain runs so deeply
But as you cry that one last tear
Remember it was I that held you there

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#two"> Children Holding Guns </a>

When the places that were familiar aren’t there
When the faces that used to sing to me are gone
The world is ending on a single massive fear
From the television’s voices that weren’t even on
When It’s no ones fault that we were sent to kill
When it’s nothing the but the casualties of war
Was it the addiction to death that destroyed our will
It’s same old sound of warning that was heard before

So it was nothing we could control
So it was something we couldn’t stop
So there was nothing we could do
So there was something we couldn’t feel

I don’t remember being told the world had taken sides
I don’t remember anyone asking if this wasn’t right
Because the world is so blind everyone hides
It’s the television’s fault that all we want to do is fight
I don’t remember why we started to forget innocence
I don’t remember what made us want deadly things
Because there’s no longer such a thing as common sense
Can’t stand to see these deaths as the angel sings

Because it’s like children holding guns
Because it’s like children holding guns

When the smiling children have now disappeared
When the dying screams of people is all we know
Because madness is no longer something feared
For the images that we take in never have let us go
When it makes you sick to hear the sound of peace
When it takes your life but you don’t even care
It’s the destruction around you that will not cease
Because that child was made a soldier right over there

So it was nothing we could control
So it was something we couldn’t stop
So there was nothing we could do
So there was something we couldn’t feel

Do you know why it is that we kill with a gun
Do you know it was the child that pulled the trigger
He looked into the eyes when he killed someone
Maybe that’s why we grow old and become bitter
Do you live when you feel the world around you dying
Do you care if the words you speak have no meaning
You stared coldly as the people before you were crying
The television says a lot but teaches pure nothing

So there was nothing you would control
So there was nothing you would stop
That sounds a little fucked up to me
It’s kinda like children holding guns
Your children killing children....

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#three"> The Wicked Things </a>

He walks down the same old streets
Watching every person that he meets
And I swear I been down there before
It seems to have such a wicked lure

He kills without warning or discrimination
Just to fill his veins with more damnation
And I believe that I know how it feels
To make the innocents into wicked meals

He sells his soul for just another night
Just one more day to hide from the light
And what if I am just like him or worse
At least I’m not carried away in a wicked hearse

He walks alone down these very streets
Damning every person that he meets
And he was worshipped in every way
Or I think that’s just what the wicked say

The wicked is the way he follows
Someday he’ll be lead to the gallows
And I will be there watching him
As his victims tare him limb from wicked limb

I walk the streets as the wicked did before
His kind seems to be exiled more and more
And I swear someone has taken my old place
Cuz every now and then I see her wicked face

I see without fear or discrimination
The world’s lead into its own damnation
And the one following me will soon see
How our kind walks the night so wickedly

I sold my soul for this every night
So that I can see between wrong and right
And the new one is just as I used to be
So lured by the beauty of this wicked sea

Where the wicked went I would follow
And now I’m up on the bloody gallow
As the young whelp looks around
My ashes fall to the wicked ground

Another now walks these endangered streets
Feeding on all the innocents that she meets
And yet no one comes and follows
For the fear of the wicked gallows

Alone she kills in discrimination
Only adding to her pain and damnation
And I think I know just how it feels
The lives she takes are the wickeds’ meals

She sells her soul to see the day
Just once more but she looks away
But if I were there I would do the same
Caught in the irony of this wicked game

She lives alone in this unforgiven time
Damned to forever commit this crime
And she’s not worshipped in any way
At least that’s what the innocent say

A vampire is this wicked creature
Above any man, woman or even a preacher
And how do I know this about her
I am her sire and her wicked lover

For years and years we roamed this street
Making food of those that we meet
And if they thought that I was dead before
I have only died once and nevermore

Flesh to ash and back once more
The power we have will always lure
And a new one will always come
Their gallows will only scare off some

We sold our souls to have all this
Damned but in immortal bliss
And we are worshipped in every way
Or is that just what the wicked say

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#four"> Organized Random Thought </a>

I’m trying too hard to get these words out
I’m supposed to be good at this but I suck
The truth comes out but it sounds like lies
It’s ‘cause I’m so pathetic that I have hope

At the bottom there’s only one way left
At the end there’s no where else to go
At the top there’s only one way back
At the edge you can still fall down

I can’t think of the next words to cry out
I was this great legendary thing yet nothing
Could I have been misled by my own self
If I’ve got nothing left can’t I only gain

At the bottom there’s only one way up
At the end there’s no where else but here
At the top there’s only one way down
At the edge you can still fall backward

I think I’m forming a pattern with this crap
It doesn’t rhyme but I’m not quite that smart
The truth is behind this smile is just confusion
Only at the end is when I think about the start

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#five"> The So-Called Righteous </a>

Your so-called war
And your beliefs
The righteous war
It stands for nothing
There’s no such thing
As your pride
There’s no such thing
For it stands for nothing

You’ll hear them cry
But it’s alright
You might just cry
But it stands for nothing
You wanted this
And here it is
You wanted more
But it stood for nothing

And all this time you wondered why such evil happens
It seems to me that you are the reason for this pain
And it starts again

Your so-called moral
And your god
Your so-called pride
It stands for nothing
I cannot believe
What goes on
I only know that
It stands for nothing

You’ll make them cry
With your guns
You’ll make them die
But it stands for nothing
I heard them say
It was for good
They should hear me say
That it stands for nothing

And all this time you wondered why this shit happens
It seems to me that you are the reason for this pain
So it starts again

Your so-called war
With these people
Your righteous war
It stand for nothing
There’s no such thing
As good death
There’s no such thing
For it stands for nothing

You will hear the cries
From children
You will make them die
But it stands for nothing
You wanted revenge
For the pain
You wanted to kill
So it stood for nothing

But it starts again

----------------------------------

This intended as a song more than just a poem, inspired by the sudden birth of pride that everyone seems to have gained after certain events.

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#six"> Eve of Destruction (kind of a remix) </a>

[originally by The Turtles, i have made a few alterations to make it fit the more modern times]

The whole damn world
it is exploding
violence flaring
bullets loading
you're old enough to kill
but not for drinking
you dont believe in war
but whats that gun you're toting
and even the Jordan river
has bodies floating

but ya
tell me over and over and over again my friend
how you dont believe
we're on the eve of destruction

and dont ya understand
what i'm trying to say
and cant you feel the fears
that i'm feeling today
if the button is pushed
there's no running away
there will be no one to save
with the world in a grave
take a look around ya boy
its bound to scare ya boy

and ya
tell me over and over and over again my friend
how you dont believe
we're on the eve of destruction

think of all the hate
there is in the middle east
then take a look around
to the racist fucking beasts
you may leave here
for four weeks in space
but when you return
its the same old place
the pounding of the drums
the pride and disgrace
you can bury your dead
but dont leave a trace
hate your next door neighbor
but dont forget to say grace

and tell me over and over and over and over again my friend
you dont believe
we're on the eve of distruction
no you dont believe we're on the eve of distruction


i'm not really a fan of the turtles, they're a bit before my time but i heard this song and was very inspired by its blunt truths. of course the original song was talking about the vietnam war but a lot of it fits in right now with all the crap thats going on. I dont know about all the legality of what i've just done so i just like to say again, this ISN'T by me and i dont claim any part of this song as my own, even the parts that have been altered.

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#seven"> Teardrops of Wax </a>

Those teardrops of wax
Those teardrops of wax
Flow down her face

Those teardrops of wax
Those teardrops of wax
What do I say

Those teardrops of wax
Those teardrops of wax
Fall down on me
Oh can’t you see it now

Those teardrops of wax
Those teardrops of wax
Fill up these streets
Oh can’t you feel it now

Those teardrops of wax
Those teardrops of wax
They burn on you

Those teardrops of wax
Those teardrops of wax
They tare through you

Those teardrops of wax
Those teardrops of wax
Fall down on me
Why must I see it now

Those teardrops of wax
Those teardrops of wax
Fall down her cheek
Why can’t you feel it now

Those teardrops of wax
Those teardrops of wax


--------------------------------------------
I do wish i could somehow explain the rhythm of this one cuz im sure without it, its not as good as i have invisioned.

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#eight"> Sporadic </a>

To those of the more religious side: there a few things that are a bit offensive toward believers in here so dont get up my ass about it, you've been warned. oh and a little colorful language too.

Sporadic decaying of the mind
Every time we fall just a little behind
Simply just another day in the line
Of cross-fire and burning prophets ‘til we see the sign

So here we’re looking
While we’re falling
Everything is so dark
And here we’re crawling
While we’re bleeding
Everything is so hard

You’d think they’d listened to me when I said
All their fickle fascinations will be dead
Blood keeps falling down on my head
Can’t you see it now my eyes are turning red

Sudden and abrupt loss of thought
Every time we give what we’ve got
Harshly just another day and time
Where every martyr that’s made is made in crime

You’d think they’d listen to me
But there weren’t ready to see
That everything they believe
Has nothing to do with what they achieve

So here we’re dying
While we’re living
Everything is so unreal
And here we’re winning
While we’re losing
It’s getting harder to feel

You’d think that I’d listen to what I say
But life is tricky and diluting in that way
Blood keeps flowing too much to stay
But then you will come and wash it all away

Sporadic imploding of my brain
Every time we get rid of the pain
Really just another day without luck
When Jesus Christ himself doesn’t give a fuck

You’d think they’d listen to me
But they weren’t ready to see
That everything they believe
Has nothing to do with what they receive

So we’re all looking
While they are falling
Doesn’t that just really suck
And we’re all slipping
Over blood they’re dripping
It’s getting harder to fuck

You’d think they’d listen to what they say
It all kinda sounds just a little bit gay
The blood that’s falling is getting in my way
Now I don’t really think I want to stay

Sudden and confusing loss of mind
Every time you say you’re kind
Frankly just another day in the line
When we use our gallows to hear people whine

You’d think they’d listen to me
But maybe I couldn’t see
That everything they believe
Is more than simply being naïve

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#nine"> Born to (Dis)please </a>

So what if I’m tired now
Tired of feeding you lies
Tired of keeping you happy
Can’t hold this world up anymore

So the hell with pleasing you
Not that I didn’t love being the scapegoat
Not that I wont keep bleeding and hurting
Can’t go on trying to try for you

So what if I’m tired now
Tired of faking it for you
Tired of pretending to live
Can’t hold up your throne any longer

So the hell with being shit for you
Not that I didn’t love being the servant
Not that I wont keep hiding my bleeding
Can’t go on doing the bullshit for you

So what if I’m tired now
Tired of trying to please you
Tired of being your reject
Can’t build your temples forever

So fuck all your lack of recognition
Not that I didn’t love being nothing
Not that I wont keep this false smile
Can’t go on pleasing you now

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#ten"> No Words Can Describe This </a>

The light at the end of your tunnel is just a
million thousand fire balls
thirsty for your soul.
I’m hypnotized and paralyzed
by the creeping nature
of my twisted soul.
I can’t remember that I can’t
forget what’s forgotten
by the suffering soul.
A little excited and melancholy of
what’s to become or what
became of the day.
They’ve hidden the holy from the light
but why does the dark
hide from the day.
Did they take me or was I
just released into something
brighter than day.
Such furry in the calm means only that I am
the center of my own
tricky and simplified reality.
I’m hypnotized and paranoid of
little things crawling in my eyes
polluting my twisted reality.
They’re hanging on but letting go but
I can’t remember what to say
while losing my reality.
I follow along while drifting off cuz these
little demons seem to like me
for my little twisted soul.

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#eleven"> Terrible </a>

what a terrible sound it must be
to listen to a child cry
what a terrible sight it must be
to see a child die
what a terrible thing it must be
to have to look away
what a terrible person you must be
to make that child run away

what a terrible thing it must be
to beat a child to death
what a terrible sound it must be
to hear the child's last breath
what a terrible thing it must be
to just ignore their cries
what terrible people you must be
to hide behind your selfish lies

________________________________________
of my friends i am one of the very few that has come from a "normal" family. this was inspired by those of them that have told me some of what its like to live in hell with the dumbass parents that dont know(or dont care) what they're doing. i guess i should consider myself lucky to have all that have, but i feel bad because of that.

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#twelve"> Cannot Sleep </a>

I’ve never lived
I have always died
And you’ve always lived
Think you might have tried

I’m so damn tired
And I’m so awake
But it’s not you
It’s just my mistake

I am so fucked up
I can’t even think
And I can’t believe
That this isn’t enough

What do you think of me
What do you want of mine
This is not your life
So to whom does it belong

I am so tired
And I’m so awake
Do you want to know
Well, it’s all o.k.

You make it better
You make it worse
You don’t understand
But I said I’m o.k.

I am so tired
Of living this lie
I am so unreal
And so damn fake

All these things you see
Any happiness
It’s just my charade
Yeah it’s all handmade

I have never lived
I have always died
Why do you think
That I’ve never tried

It might just seem like
I have lost my mind
Thought I am not sure
Cuz I’ve lost my life

I’m so damn tired
And I’m still awake
Why do I die
For this one mistake

But it’s quite alright
To make me cry at night
And if you don’t mind
I think I’ll take my life

I cannot sleep
I can only weep
And think of better days
While I waste away

But it’s all alright
And it’s all o.k.
Don’t you worry dear
That’s what I always say

I am so damn weak
I cannot stand up
Cuz I’m pushed around
With my hands tied down

I am so unloved
And not thought of
That I’m last in line
And first one lost

I am so tired
I am so awake
I cannot sleep
I can only think

I have never lived
I have never died
I’ve asked God once
But I’m sure he lied

_________________________________

I really dont even remember writing this one, all i remember is that the night i wrote it i couldnt sleep...gee is that not obvious? but anyway, yesterday when i found this poem hidden away in my stash of older poetry, i wasnt even sure where this came from - then i later came to realize what i know now. But thats why the rhyming scheme is all off, i was too tired to care. To think, i almost let this slip away in the void of time.

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#thirteen"> I Saw It Happen </a>

I was there I saw what happened
I was there but they did not even care
I stood by and watched it happen
I stood by and watched them all die
I was there I cannot believe it
I was there but it’s all so unclear

They were taken and raped by the hatred
They were taken but I did not believe them
I stood and waited and watched it happen
I stood and waited seeing them turn into what I hated
I was right there but I could not believe it
I was right there but could only stare

I tried to think but couldn’t conceive it
I tired to think but couldn’t believe it
You were not there
You were not there

I saw them change before my own eyes
I saw them change but I couldn’t explain
I can’t go back to where it all started
I can’t go back for they might just attack
They’ve turned their backs on their thought and reason
They’ve turned their backs so now I’ll never relax

I wanted an end but they kept on spreading it
I wanted the end but wasn’t strong enough to defend
I stood right by and watched it all happen
I stood right by and gave friends up to die
I was right there and saw every bit of it
I was right there but it’s all so unclear

I tried to think but couldn’t conceive it
I tired to think but couldn’t believe it
Be glad that
You were not there
I thank God that
You were not there

I was right there and saw them changing
I was right there and it was all I fear
But I stood by and let it catch fire
And I stood by and let all my friends die
I don’t get what made them all hateful
I don’t get why I can’t just let myself forget

Just be glad that you were not there
I’m just glad that you were not there
You don’t know cuz
You were not there

_____________________________________________

Yet another poem about my racist friends. this one unfortunately inspired by the crushing change of some of my closest friends into hateful beasts. the "You" that this is referring to is a friend who was thankfully spared from the fate of the others and who feels the same as I do.

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#fourteen"> It All Leads Up To This </a>

**quite a bit of cussing in this, you've been warned**


And fuck everything that you thought I am
And fuck everything that you thought I was
And fuck all the thoughts that you think about me
Cuz it’s all coming down
It’s all coming down to the
It’s all coming down
It’s all coming down to the end

And fuck all the ways that you think I should be
And fuck the mistakes that you think that I made
And fuck all the thoughts that you hide deep inside
Cuz it’s all ticking down
It’s all ticking down to the
It’s all ticking down
Now time’s ticking down to the end

And fuck all the things that I think that I am
And fuck all the things that I thought I was
And fuck all the things that I think about me
Cuz it’s all crumbling down
It’s all crumbling down to the
It’s all crumbling down
It’s all crumbling down for the end

And forget all the things that you liked about me
And forget all the times that you had around me
And forget all the love that you hold deep inside
Cuz the world’s coming down
The world’s coming down to the
The world’s coming down
The world’s coming down to the end

And it’s all leading up to me being alone in the end
And what am I supposed to do when you’re gone
And everything I’ve said doesn’t matter any more
Cuz it’s all leading up
It’s all leading up to the
It’s all leading up
It’s all leading up to the end


But don’t forget to...
Fuck all the things that you thought would happen
And fuck all the things that you think make you happy
And fuck all the things that you assume about me
And fuck all the things that you were forced to believe
And fuck all the people who made you so down
And fuck all the world for its stupidity
Cuz it’s all leading up
It’s all leading up to the
It’s all leading up
It’s all leading up to the end

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[Drew Rush]

<a name="#fifteen"> Barcode </a>

They say with knowledge comes power
I think I’m getting dumber by the hour
I’m looking at my life and all I see
Is something that was never meant to be
I have disappointed everyone
Maybe that’s why I never had someone

Back to the factory where I was made
Again on this assembly line I am laid
They mess with my thoughts and feelings inside
They changed me and those things have died
I’m different now and I fit in
But I’m not theirs, they did not win

A barcode is how they label me
Bound to their way I am never free
We’re forced to all look the same
I wish that I knew just who to blame
Stuck with these chains holding me
They are fuel for this anarchy

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