attraction like soft rain (closest thing to a short i've eve

stephanie_sunshine · Post by **stephanie_sunshine** » Sun Feb 17, 2002 11:25 pm

I walk in from the rain and brush drops off the fabric of my coat. I thank god it's only drizzling and look around the room. It's over-crowded and I guess there might be a few more first-timers in here. People like me who don't really know what they're doing, or are afraid of what doing this admits. It's not like I'm one of THEM. I'm just coming in from the rain...trying to warm up...to get a drink, or maybe just use the restroom.

Still thinking of legitmate excuses (just in case someone I know is here), I head towards the bar stools. The kind with those red, leather swivelling seats. I don't see anywhere to hang my coat, so I leave it on and remember mom: "take an umbrella, else you'll catch pneumonia". Sometimes thinking of her delusion that I'm still six bothers me. Tonight, I smile and laugh at her predictability.

I sit on a stool and give in to temptation, spinning methodically in circles of agitation. I try to hide my child-like enjoyment and I'm pretty sure that makes it even more obvious. I must be nervous or something. Finally settling a bit, I groove in my seat to the music I've never heard before. It's kind of techno, kind of funk. Whatever it is, I guess I like it.

It's always easier to lose yourself in a place like this than when you're alone or with friends. When you're alone, you're pretty much stuck with yourself. Here, I can play on the anonymous factor. I don't know anyone and no one knows me. I can be WHOever or WHATever I want. It's nice...I just feel kind of awkward.

Maybe I SHOULD feel awkward, because I don't really belong here. So... I order a drink and groove some more and slip into some wacked-out meditative state.

The bartender is just now a part of my consciousness and I blink my eyes into focus. I tell him I'm sorry and ask him to repeat whatever he said. He pushes a drink in front of me and says that the lady in the red dress would like to buy me a drink. He points, and I nod; I'm too afraid to look behind me.

I start to feel guilty for accepting the drink. I mean, I'm just not her type. I've gotten drinks from guys before, but... god, a woman?

Sometimes I really surprise myself. Like the time I played Lady Liberty in a local parade. I held my arm up for two hours straight AND smiled. It's a difficult thing to do when you've got a less than "sunny" disposition like mine. I REALLY surprise myself because I get up and start
walking towards the lady in red. I watch her shifting in her chair to the beat of the music and figure she's a good dancer. Probably, anyway. I can see her painted red lips working magic as she smokes a Newport. I wish to god that for just one minute I could feel the kind of pleasure she must be giving that cigarette. Freaky... 'cause I think I'm jealous.

She doesn't notice me until I'm about three feet away. She turns her head and I feel my face heat when she sizes me up.

She smiles and I think she's either a goddess or an idiot for wasting that smile on me. My hands are shaking and I feel like I did before my first kiss... like my heart was going to stop any minute from exhaustion. My palms are sweaty so I wipe them on my pants and notice the perspiration streaks they leave. The moisture comes right back, consistenst as the drizzle outside. I lick my lips and see her laughing at my nervousness...

The music is still playing and I think I'm still nervous. Just not so much as before. I glance around the dimly lit bar and thank god for women like me.

[ 02-17-2002: Message edited by: stephanie_sunshine ]

[ 02-17-2002: Message edited by: stephanie_sunshine ]</p>

stephanie_sunshine · Post by **stephanie_sunshine** » Sun Feb 17, 2002 11:32 pm

I know that in the 6th and 7th paragraphs, I used the word "drink" too often, but I really don't know what to replace some of those with. Any suggestions?

The Ravyn · Post by **The Ravyn** » Sun Feb 17, 2002 11:53 pm

Instead of the word drink, maybe you could use the actual drink? Like a sloe gin fizz or a pina colada or something? I think its a good story to christen the new forum with anyway. Nice job!

Post by **heinzs** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 1:38 am

I like it, too.
[img]images/smiles/icon_cool.gif[/img]

EbonWolfe · Post by **EbonWolfe** » Sat Apr 20, 2002 12:20 pm

wow, steph, this is a remarkable story! It's short and seems to be unfinished but it's well written and very detailed. It has a dream-like quality about it that held me entranced through the whole thing.

ButtercupFullOfTears · Post by **ButtercupFullOfTears** » Wed May 08, 2002 5:00 pm

I dont mean to sound stupid, but I do not understand the end of the story....please explain....thanks...

Topics I've started · Post by **heinzs** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 12:30 am

Poetry Pages