**Autumn on the Hill** Poem of the week 12.18.06
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Love poems and poems of romantic interest (not erotica).
Autoprune 12 months.
Love poems and poems of romantic interest (not erotica).
Autoprune 12 months.
- heinzs
- The Fat Cat
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**Autumn on the Hill** Poem of the week 12.18.06
Winner: Poem of the Week: December 18, 2006
Autumn on the Hill
by heinzs
Autumn’s blush paints technicolor
the usual mountainside greens and browns.
Bright hues highlighted by the peek-a-boo sun
make the whole experience one
of action and vibrant life.
Nutkin darts from rock to tree
and twitches his bushy tail
like a flagman’s signal to move along.
Magpie flits between branches
stark white on black
in sheer contrast to ochre leaves.
Between us, on the rug, I pour the Merlot.
The glasses clink and the squirrel stops
momentarily in his tracks,
then resumes burying his acorn.
You smile as you sip
through lips almost as dark as the wine.
How different it seemed then –
as if the future was unfolding
within the pleasant aspect
of the glorious present.
You never lost that smile.
Even near the end
your inner joy shone through
making a lie of the tubes and wires
keeping you alive.
That first autumn together
always comes back to me here
in the cool woods.
This magic place fills me
with your gentle love
and for a moment I, too,
may smile.
9/20/2004
HeinzS
*******************
Admin note:
Nominated for Poem of the Week on 12/15/06
Autumn on the Hill
by heinzs
Autumn’s blush paints technicolor
the usual mountainside greens and browns.
Bright hues highlighted by the peek-a-boo sun
make the whole experience one
of action and vibrant life.
Nutkin darts from rock to tree
and twitches his bushy tail
like a flagman’s signal to move along.
Magpie flits between branches
stark white on black
in sheer contrast to ochre leaves.
Between us, on the rug, I pour the Merlot.
The glasses clink and the squirrel stops
momentarily in his tracks,
then resumes burying his acorn.
You smile as you sip
through lips almost as dark as the wine.
How different it seemed then –
as if the future was unfolding
within the pleasant aspect
of the glorious present.
You never lost that smile.
Even near the end
your inner joy shone through
making a lie of the tubes and wires
keeping you alive.
That first autumn together
always comes back to me here
in the cool woods.
This magic place fills me
with your gentle love
and for a moment I, too,
may smile.
9/20/2004
HeinzS
*******************
Admin note:
Nominated for Poem of the Week on 12/15/06
Last edited by heinzs on Tue Dec 26, 2006 1:46 am, edited 3 times in total.
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
***************************************
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- the quiet poet
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- heinzs
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Thanks Adam. Another one of those poems chanelled in the hospital cafeteria...
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
***************************************
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- The-Legendary-Bandit
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i like this touching piece...it has good flow, very emotional...
" Tell me little starfish
if you have no objection
how do we know which way to go
if you point in all direction"
-Enrique Izazaga
If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are...
Proverbs 14:29
if you have no objection
how do we know which way to go
if you point in all direction"
-Enrique Izazaga
If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are...
Proverbs 14:29
- heinzs
- The Fat Cat
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Gracias mi amigo!
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
***************************************
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- heinzs
- The Fat Cat
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Thank you Spazway!
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
***************************************
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- heinzs
- The Fat Cat
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Autumn on the Hill: First Rewrite
Here's a firs re-write according to suggestions and critiques received so far from Miyu and a poetry reading group I meet with on Fridays.
Autumn on the Hill
Autumn’s blush paints technicolor
the usual mountainside greens and browns -
bright hues highlighted by peek-a-boo sun.
Nutkin darts from rock to tree
and twitches his bushy tail
like a flagman’s signal to move along.
Between us, on the rug, I pour the Merlot.
The glasses clink and the squirrel stops
momentarily in his tracks,
then resumes burying his acorn.
You smile as you sip
through lips almost as dark as the wine.
How different it seemed then –
as if the future was unfolding
within the pleasant aspect
of the glorious present.
You never lost that smile.
Even near the end
your inner joy shone through
making a lie of the tubes and wires
keeping you alive.
That first autumn together
always comes back to me
here in the cool woods.
This magic place fills me
with your gentle love
and for a moment I, too,
may smile.
9/20/2004
HeinzS
Please feel free to add to the critique in the critique group forum. It's easy to join the discussion group.
Critique for this poem: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=24934
Join the usergroup:
http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/groupcp.php
Autumn on the Hill
Autumn’s blush paints technicolor
the usual mountainside greens and browns -
bright hues highlighted by peek-a-boo sun.
Nutkin darts from rock to tree
and twitches his bushy tail
like a flagman’s signal to move along.
Between us, on the rug, I pour the Merlot.
The glasses clink and the squirrel stops
momentarily in his tracks,
then resumes burying his acorn.
You smile as you sip
through lips almost as dark as the wine.
How different it seemed then –
as if the future was unfolding
within the pleasant aspect
of the glorious present.
You never lost that smile.
Even near the end
your inner joy shone through
making a lie of the tubes and wires
keeping you alive.
That first autumn together
always comes back to me
here in the cool woods.
This magic place fills me
with your gentle love
and for a moment I, too,
may smile.
9/20/2004
HeinzS
Please feel free to add to the critique in the critique group forum. It's easy to join the discussion group.
Critique for this poem: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=24934
Join the usergroup:
http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/groupcp.php
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
***************************************
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- heinzs
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Thanks for the bump, Debbie!
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started
- Friend_forever
- Rafiki Moyo
- Posts: 924
- Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 3:41 am
- Location: The Garden State...
- heinzs
- The Fat Cat
- Posts: 8419
- Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
- Tag line: Do no harm
- Location: Novato, CA
- Contact:
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started
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