moonflowers highlights September 07

Moderator's monthly picks from the "Funny Business" forum

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enchanted by the magic
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moonflowers highlights September 07

Post by moonflower » Tue Oct 02, 2007 7:10 am

wow..October already! :grin: for the month of September there were 17 postings in the funny forum..thats really great! :lol: many thanks to everyone who stopped in..well here are the September choices.. :grin: :grin:


Only Dreaming....written by Sailor55

Collectively, it sounds like distant applause,
The labored breathing at the
Convention of obese southerners.
Most attendees have ugly, irritating dogs.
They believe I am their keynote speaker.
“Certainly there’s some mistake” I complain.
But they persist. I’ve kept my secret too long, they say
Tonight, it shall be revealed. “Praise the Lord, etc…”.
My heart squeezes up into my throat as
Two fat cops muscle me through the crowd.
They kick open the front double doors and
Toss me unceremoniously into the street.
“This ain’t the USA... yer in Alabama now, boy”.
“Guess ah’ll just mosey along then, y’all”, I say.

Outside a panhandler tries to assault me sexually.
Enraged, I push him to the ground, then
Bang his skull repeatedly on the pavement.
Seemingly used to such behavior,
He takes my violent reaction in stride.
His head proves to be entirely indestructible.
The best player ever to strap on the skates
Drives up in a beautifully restored ’58 Chevy.
Seizing this rare opportunity,
I push the bum in the passenger door and slam it shut.
“He’s your problem now, Gretzky”, I yell.
Later, I’ll feel some guilt about
Fobbing my hassles off on the Great One.
But I figure, if anyone can cope, it will be him.

Both of my deceased parents appear.
“Dad”, I say, “You have no idea how silly
Things have become since you checked out.
Schwarzenegger is now governor”.
“Aw, fer chrissakes! Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you”.
And of course, Mom wants to know
When am I going to write some ‘nice’ poetry.
“What’s with the wacko stuff?”, she says.
“Nobody feels happy reading that”.
I want to say ‘feeling happy’ is not the point,
But lack the energy to defend my neurotic ruminations.
Besides, maybe she’s on to something.
So I let myself slip backward into the new dawn
Then stop complaining that my world makes no sense


A furry fact....written by Milk White Chocolate

I am a cheeky chipmunk,
Stealing from the farmers,
Big golden brown hazel nuts,
It drives them real bananas.

One night I stole up to twelve,
And they went bonkers.
Swore to catch me,
The cheeky chipmunk had to be conquered.

How I laughed with my friends,
When I heard this amusing thought,
Coz it’s a well-known furry fact,
A farmer can’t stop a chipmunk in his frenzy act.

Now later that dark night,
When the farmers were well out of sight,
Into the barn I quietly sneaked.
Smiling and rubbing my brown paws,
Coz I was sincerely convinced,
That their trap had to have flaws.

But to my dismay,
A shot fired,
And two farmers jump out from behind the hay.
Dexterity they had acquired,
Putting a stop to my strut,
As a load of lead flew into my fuzzy butt.

My cheeky smile instantly fading,
As I tried to limp hastily away.
The farmers had got me,
And were now laughing and slapping their knee.
What an embarrassing conclusion,
To my big hazel nut spree.

A year has passed,
I don’t steal nuts anymore,
I just buy the super size packs,
At Jerry’s corner store.
Coz that night I learnt an important lesson,
I now go about teaching my children.
Do not underestimate farmers,
Coz stealing nuts,
Can be a risky business,
For those who own a hairy butt.


13....written by bags123

Every word from your pouty, red, lips is expressive
In describing an alternate world you’ve invented
There everything’s free, so suddenly you’re contented
By this fantasy world where it’s much less expensive

For some reason I’m challenged, and I do fail to see
How all the things that you need are important to me
Unless you anticipate some hard work’s guarantee
Everything you’ve imagined will most likely not be


Word Used:Joke....written by ladydp2000

There was a young girl from Bulgaria,
She was so funny, that went into hysteria,
After she heard a joke,
Laugh'd so hard, under an oak,
And then pee, right there... in the same area!


well thanks again to all who stopped by to visit here in the funny farm during September! :grin: :grin: ..i hope to see all of you even more during October! :mrgreen:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page


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