moonflowers highlights: April 06- December, 06

Moderator's monthly picks from the "Funny Business" forum

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moonflowers highlights: April 06- December, 06

Post by moonflower » Sun Apr 30, 2006 8:17 pm

<a name="#019">April, 2006</a>

hi everyone :grin: well another month has sped by at warp speed! :lol: in the funny forum there were 39 postings for the month of April! how great is that!?!..its wonderful! thanks to all of you who stopped by! usual, it was very hard to pick just a few, but these are the ones to be highlighted for April :lol: ..


Buzzed....written by bags123

Chocolate fondue
with fresh strawberry dunkers
Fresh whipping cream
from a store down in Yonkers

Superbowl sandwichs
Dutch apple pie
Hot dogs and burgers
on Fourth of July

Linguini with clam sauce
Just white not the red
Blue cheese on my salad
Hard crust on my bread

A steak that's so rare
it bleeds when you slice it
Precisely prepared,
with black pepper to spice it

Baby back ribs
falling right off the bone
Twice stuffed potatos
Can't leave them alone

Pancakes and bacon
Baked beans bubbling hot
Food always tastes best
when I'm buzzed on pot.


mirror-mirror....written by sharoneliz

I am staring into the mirror, horrified at what I see.
There seems to be no trace of what used to be me.
My skin has lost its lustre.
My shoulders have lost there posture.
No, it can’t be another wrinkle there.
Oh surely not! I cant have grey hair.
Every thing has dropped, you know gone south.
My lips are thin; there are tiny creases around my mouth.
I have been told we should all age gracefully.
I think I will look into plastic surgery.
However, for now I will just have to accept.
I wish there was one thing I could have kept


'tit-for-tat'....written by Rain

you little rat.
Eat my cheese,
I cook you in grease,
for a yummy snack.


SILLY THING....written by richie

Once I lost a silly thing
it wasn't big, it didn't ring,
it didn't laugh, it didn't sigh,
it didn't sing, it wasn't shy.
It wasn't short, it wasn't long
it didn't cry, it wasn't strong.
It wasn't high it wasn't low
it did not shine it did not glow
I wonder why I love it so.



Flash of light, rumble grumble, plopity plop!
By gosh if it ain’t raining.
Once again same scenario refraining

Flash of light, rumble grumble, plopity plop!
Heck I ain’t scared
I just like the covers up over my head
Arrrgh there goes again, before like I said

Flash of light, rumble grumble, plopity plop!
Of course I’m alright, but won’t you make it stop?


Serious Hunting....written by Eternum1

I am the warrior
my blood
calls me to the scent

Through the maze
I track
with my hunting pose bent

I call to my woman,
see I told you....
we parked nearby
the spring sales event


well, i want to thank everyone once again for visiting the 'funny farm' in April :grin: ..and now don't be shy..come back and visit even more in May! :mrgreen:
Last edited by moonflower on Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

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Post by moonflower » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:13 pm

May, 2006:

hi everyone :lol: ..sorry that im posting these highlights so late :roll: (its just been total chaos at my house this whole week!) :grin:
im so happy to see that there were 26 postings in the funny forum this time!..thats so wonderful! :lol: i want to thank all of you who dropped in during May to visit, and also those of you who shared your talents, by posting, a big thank you! usual, it was hard to pick the ones to highlight, but here are the ones who are in the spotlight for May :lol:


sung to the tune of
'These are a Few of my Favorite Things'....written by BroMike

Children in dresses with white satin ribbons,
cats playing keep - away with balls they weren't given-
fat ladies drinking their diet parfaits -
these are a few of my favorite days...

Kittens a-plenty all wrestling together,
children out playing in all kinds of weather -
teenagers cuddling with stars in their eyes,
these are a few of my favorite highs...


NICKELODEON....written by Gordy

Gary is a snail
But he meows
Bob is a sponge
Don't ask me how
Squidwards voice is grating
But Zoe loves when I imitate him
Patrick is a buffoon
And m-o-o-n spells moon
Sandy is a squirrel
She is from the dry world
And plankton's on a mission
For Crabby Patties he goes a fishin'
But Mr. Crabbs
Says they're not up for grabs
Zoe and me, (she's only three)
Sitting, watching cartoons on t.v.


The Kangaroo of Wooroloo....written by Torsten H. Sommer

Twenty miles from Wooroloo
Lived a lonely kangaroo
Who had no hope and always said,
"I'll never find a mate!"
But her words were overheard
By a passing bowerbird.
It said, "I think that you are wrong!
Now listen to my song:

Sit down beside me
If you've got nothing else to do
And listen to the story
Of the female kangaroo
Who wished to have a joey.
That always made her feel so blue.
She thought, "I'll never have one",
But finally got two!"

The bowerbird, it wasn't wrong
With its optimistic song:
The roo got, that was really great,
Two joeys and a mate!
Her children came off age, and then
Their talk was just the same again:
"I'll never have a family!"
She said, "Now look at me!

Sit down ..." (etc)


Tickle Me....written by Ven

Do me a favor
gimme a tickle,
put your fingertips
under my armpits
and wiggle them.
Poke my ribs
in a playfull fashion,
feather my feet
cos I've not had my ration
of titters and chuckles
I've been a bit glum.
A grumpy old git
with my head up my bum.
Maudling, gloomy
and mirth insuffiecient
Please tickle me silly.
I'm haha deficient.


Drunken Story Time....written by VivaldiFall

I haven't sat in class for years,
I'm so tired that my eyes burn,
Last night I drank too many beers;
Don't call on me, it's not my turn.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah,
Leave me alone, I want to sleep,
This line won't rhyme cause of my hangover;
I really need some food to eat.

I slept an hour and a half,
I need to lay down for some rest,
I drank all the Guiness and Bass;
Took my test this morning and STILL passed!

From now on, I will take tests drunk,
Because I'm too smart to flunk.

Who am I kidding, they won't fail me,
I have to be a recruiter in the Army.


well hey thanks again everybody for stopping by during May :lol: ..come back even more in June! :mrgreen:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page


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Post by moonflower » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:13 pm

June, 2006:

wow!..July already!.. :lol: time for lemonade in the
in the funny forum there were just 11 postings for June, so i've only picked 2 to be highlighted this time..thanks to all who stopped in during June! :lol: ..well, here are the 2 to be in the spotlight.. :lol: :lol:


Plastic Trees....written by Phoenix J. Star

Think of me
when you're
gettin drunk
hangin from
plastic trees.
Swayin in the
falling fast,
but so gracefully.
Watch where you
watch where you land,
I might not be there
to give you a hand.


I Get High On You....written by Eternum1

I get high from seeing you
filled my glass a time or two
sweet red lips the finest brew
oh what a whoop de doo
I'm getting high on you

If you would be my girl
I'd be an oyster with a pearl
what say we give us a whirl
I'm getting high on you

be bop a re bop a biddly bop a lahee

All the nectars from the fall
doesn't match your alcohol
Im getting dizzy, I'm in a tizzy
I'm getting high on you

Inebriated sot am I
you're the dew to my butterfly
man has never flown so high
I'm getting high on you

Til angels pour from heavens vat
I will be your pussy cat
there's just no mistaking that
I'm getting high on you

be bop a re bop a biddly bop a lahee


well again thanks to all who took the time to come by and visit!..hope to see you even more in July! :mrgreen: :lol:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page


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Post by moonflower » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:14 pm

July, 2006:

cant believe August is here already!..there were 15 postings in the funny forum this time.. :grin: all of them were great!!..a big thank you to everyone who stopped by! here are the 3 to be in the spotlight from July.. :lol: :lol:


Male or Female?....written by Goddess Erika

You may not know this but many inanimate things have a gender.

1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald, and it's often over-inflated.

4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!


Since in Summertime it Seldom Happens Ever...written by bags123

Collaborating with you all
has been my pleasure
Stimulating me to plan
my next endeavor

Consequently, if I leave here
May the saints bless each of you
with equal measure

It's aggravating when the poetry
you treasure
Germinates inside the brain
from something clever

Evidently,... it's depending
on the weather
Since in summertime
it seldom happens ever


The NHS-New Study Released By Surgeon General – “WE’RE ALL GONNA’ DIE!”
written by SamIAm

Gary, Indiana – The Surgeon General released a long-awaited report today on the future of American health, revealing his results to 500 elementary children.

“After extensive studies,” says Richard Carmona, Surgeon General, “we have come to the conclusion that . . . WE’RE ALL GONNA’ DIE!!! OH MY SWEET-ASSED GOD!! WE’RE ALL DOOOOOOOOOMED!”

Carmona stated that the Avian Flue, or Bird Flu, could single-handedly kill all life on earth, especially children, who can be snuffed out – Snap! – just like that. “This disease has already claimed seven people,” says Carmona. “Seven! That only leaves four billion, nine-hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred ninety-three people to go! DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?!? WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE KILLED WITHIN THE NEXT TEN THOUSAND YEARS!!!”

The Surgeon General listed other threats to human life. “Don’t drink the water, little kids, ‘cause it’ll kill you! How many times do you think we can remove crap and urine from drinking water before all that’s left is the crap and urine? Not long. Ever notice how salty the water taste anymore? And you brats are going to die sooner because you insist on putting your mouth on the water fountain spouts! That kid ahead of you in line could be your doom! And did you know that eating paste cuts your life expectancy in half? Why do you think artistic people always die so young? And in our day and age artistic children are the first to get snuffed. YOU HEAR ME?!! GODDAMN SNUFFED!!!”

Carmona mentioned other things that will kill everyone, “especially innocent children like you.” The list included: pollution, ultra violet rays, viruses, cancer, mutated cockroaches, anything with fat in it, anything with sugar in it, anything that taste good, anything that makes you feel good, tumors that develop from too much smiling, heart attacks and strokes from not smiling enough, diseases from being too fat, diseases from being too skinny, heart problems from dieting, heart attacks from exercising, heart disease and diabetes from not exercising, smoking, being around smokers, knowing of someone who smokes, not smoking, any breathing of oxygen, and little kids with runny noses, among others.

How can we protect ourselves? “You can’t,” says Carmona. “Even if you lock yourself in a plastic bubble and bury yourself a mile under the earth with oxygen, food and water, you’ll still die because plastic causes cancer! Don’t you see? There’s nothing you can do! PREPARE TO DIE!!”

After that, Carmona excused the children for recess. “And stop your crying,” he yelled. “polluted tears can cause brain damage! DID YOU HEAR ME?!! BRAAAAAIN DAAAAAMAAAAGE!”


well once again a big thank-you to everybody who dropped by in July :lol: always, the invitation is open to all to come back even more this month! :mrgreen:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page


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Post by moonflower » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:14 pm

August, 2006:

hi everyone :grin: ..well i just cant believe that September is here already! the Funny forum there were 31 postings for August!.. :lol:..thats so great!!.. a big thanks to all of you who came in and posted or browsed! :lol: ya'll make this a fun forum to moderate!..well here are the ones to be spotlighted for August :lol:


Dancing on Daddy's Shoes....written by Eternum1

i'm escorting her down the aisle
aristocratic curls and a great big smile

seems like it was yesterday
when we let those guitars play

she would dance on daddy's shoes
with baby steps, she learned the moves

when I laughed, she'd pretend to frown
lift her up, spinning round and round

she was just the cutest pearl
always daddy's litle girl

dancing on daddy's shoes...

re bop a skiddly bop ah layhee

pleased as punch, it's her wedding day
the day old dad gives her away

still i think about the way
she danced on her daddy's shoes

re bop a skiddly bop ah layhee


Local Man Only Person In Whole Wide World With Problems
written by SamIAm

American Fork, Utah – A local man here is drowning in pity today due to family troubles and heartbreak. His plight is a hopeless one that no one ever could understand. That is because he is the only person in the whole, wide world who has problems.

SamIAm, 35, confided in friends regarding a painful separation after ten years of marriage stating that there was no way for anyone to ever understand his plight since no one in the history of the world has ever gone through what he has.

“I couldn’t believe my ears,” said Eternum, a poetry pages member. “I had no idea that people had – what are they called again? Oh, yeah. Problems. Sam seemed like the rest of us, just free of problems and happy-joy-joy bunny clouds all the time. Who would have thought that negative things could happen?”

“Sam’s case is a unique one,” said Heinzs, or Pops, the problemless master of the Poetry Pages. “I’ve never heard of anyone getting separated from their spouse. That’s just unfathomable. And this self-doubt along with confusion and pain – what the hell is that all about?”

Pops stated that he had known a lot of people in his life, but that none of them had any problems whatsoever.

“Sam has always been different,” he says, “but now, knowing that he is the only person in the world who has suffered, well, that just makes him all the more special. I would hate to know what it’s like to have troubles. I just couldn’t handle that.”

Doctors have joined together to find a solution to this phenomenon called “problems” which only Sam has shown signs of.

“It’s baffling,” said Doctor Peter Yang of the Baltimore Institute for the Study of Human Behavior. “Sam has seemed to develop a rare and strange condition. He has single-handedly turned the world of Human Behavior upside-down by developing this thing we like to call tough times. I mean, who ever heard of people separating and being hurt.”

As for Sam’s habitual declarations of past pains, Yang says that he never has, and never will tire of hearing them repeated over and over.

“I can’t get enough of his whining,” said Yang. “I printed out his self-indulgent pity speeches and read them at least twenty times a night. All I do is wonder what other strange things will happen due to this baffling thing called problems. I hope he has new troubles I can read, since I have none at all.”

“What a whining bitch,” commented Thief of Dreams. “I don’t believe in this sissy-boy problem thing. I’ve never had problems, and I don’t know anyone who has. So why should Sam get special attention. I’ll kick his skinny white ass!”

“Thief is a big meanie!” Said Sam, the only guy in the whole, wide world with problems. “How can I expect him to understand? His life is perfect. He doesn’t have to worry about any negativity at all, what with his fancy-schmancy perfect life and his yippity-doo world. Me? I have had to live my life dealing with bad things all the time. And what does Thief do? He gives me constructive criticism. How dare he not wallow in my pain? I mean, how dare he? ”

Sam says that he becomes quite annoyed if people aren’t constantly milling around him with support and pity. “They have no idea what it’s like,” Sam said. “It’s as if they aren’t as obsessed with my problems as I am. How dare they go on with their lives! I’m not! How dare they pretend that there are things in their own lives that need fixing? Don’t they care? Don’t they see how special I am? I’m the only guy in the whole damn world with problems. I’m special! I need pity! Pity please?”

Then, he quickly photographed a tear on his own cheek. “This’ll prove it.”

No further comments were given by Sam since Thief came to Utah and beat the living shit out of him.


If The Irish All Were Kings

If the Irish ruled the world my friends,
it would be a finer place
A pint of beer in every hand,
a smile on every face

We'd convene a Gaelic Parliament
Always open for debates,
and isolate the seeds of power
away from those who hate

There'd be music in the parks at night
when minstrals wend their way
along a path young dancers dance
with children where they play

and the bards would share their travelled tales
which would cause our hearts to sing
The world would be a better place
If the Irish all were kings.


well hey thanks again to everyone who stopped in during August.. :grin: ..come on back now and post even more in September! :mrgreen: :lol:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page


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Post by moonflower » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:15 pm

September, 2006:

wow..can you believe Autumn is really here?..its the last day of September already! :lol:.. it flew! in the 'funny farm' there were 21 postings for September..and all of them are soooo good!!..i want to thank everybody for coming in to browse or post this month..choosing was hard, but these are the ones i picked to be in the spotlight for September.. :grin: :grin:


Notes by Parents in Tennessee School District...posted by Debbie

These are real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district...(spellings have been left intact.)....

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today.Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3 Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28,29,30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre,dyrea, direathe), the squirts. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out]

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16 Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monda y. We thought
it was sunday.

17. Sally won't ! be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20 Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,
fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be
something going around, her father even got hot last night.


A Poem in The Pages....written by Cure

Read me…
PLEASE read me!

I'm a new post
And needs your reply.

No wait!
Isn't my icon flashing enough
For your eyes to catch?

Oh no!
There goes another new post,
Another one,
And another…
Bringing me down
To the bottom

Well maybe
If I bump myself back
Would you notice me?

Would anyone notice me!!

That's it!
I'm not a funny poem anymore
I'm an angry one now!

No no…
Please don't go
Don't let me disappear…

Oh well…
Farewell now,
I'm being auto-pruned!


Dirty Pictures....written by IfOnly...IfOnly

I take dirty pics
in the morn. and at night.
I do it when dark,
and I do it when light.

I sell them for dough,
and I give them away,
I'll send you some good ones,
if you're willing to pay.

I'm known all around,
on the thing called the web
With 4 million hits,
hey! I'm a celeb.!

One of my fans,
and it's really okay,
I think is man,
but hey! he still pays.

It got really bad
when I found out another,
who was buying alot,
was really my mother!


Flavor of the Month....written by bags123

I still like vanilla
and chocolate the best
Please,... no sasparilla!
Fruit chunks I detest!
No nuts, or ground cookies,
or cinnimon sticks
Bubble gum is for rookies,
and kids under six
No toffee, or coffee,
or caramel mints
I'd just like my ice cream
without incidents


King Procastinator....written by Gordy

to read this entire thread CLICK HERE


well once again, my thanks to all who entered in here and took the time to browse or post..i love reading all the talented pieces each month! i hope everyone comes back and visits even more in October! :mrgreen: :grin:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page


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Post by moonflower » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:15 pm

October, 2006:

hi everyone..well here it is, the end of another month already! flew! :lol: here in the funny forum there were 26 postings for October!..thats great!! :lol: ..all of them wonderful and funny and deserving of being spotlighted..a big thank-you to everyone who dropped by and browsed or posted in October :grin: wasnt easy to choose, but here are the ones in the spotlight for that month.. :lol: :lol:


The Flu....written by bookdragon

There once was a tiny microbe,
named Damn Flu,
Looking for a home
He settled in you.
He started in your throat
as just a little itch,
Now he has taken over your body
That son of a bitch.
He makes you shiver and shake
Cough, ache, and sneeze.
Your voice is hoarse
As you cry "kill me please".
Just when you think
You can't take it any more,
And start crying for mercy
Damn Flu heads out the door.
Leaving you tired and weak,
But glad to be well,
Now that it's over;
Those six days of hell.


Winter?....written by twinklewriter

I’ve got fat cells on my body,
Whiskers on my chin.
Old age spots are growing,
And my looks have turned to sin.
My hair is rarely brushed,
It hangs all over me.
It’s always hanging in my face,
Ain’t no wonder I can’t see.

I’ve connected all the ‘ol age spots,
drew maps from all my scars.
I’ve taken out my dentures,
Left them sitting at some bar.
I’ve tucked in all the belly fat,
Inside my tight, tight jeans.
Only to come back home alone,
And laugh at worst things I have seen.

My legs are full of snow flakes,
Don’t need the Winter here.
As I look at this old body,
It’s quite a sight to see.


Things My Kid Says....written by fancilady1967

He's six years old but sometimes
speaks like an adult. Either way
its always cute.

When his nose is stuffy its
"I can't get my smell back"

When his parents (us) argued about the election
he takes his Mom's side (smart kid) and tells his Dad
"You smelt him, you dealt him"

When he gets mad at his 18 year old brother its
"You fart like a girl!"

When he bumps his head its
"Don't worry, I have a steel brain!"

He's also a little poet with
"I don't know but I've been told, I think Daddy's getting old!"

When he loses a tooth its,
"The tooth fairy will take it to her tooth factory"

When we visit my parents
Instead of Grandpa, he calls my Dad "Belly".

When I mention being human its
"You're not a girl, you're my Mom!!"

When my husband and I show affection its
"Oooooh Disgusting!!!!"

When he's in trouble its
"I'm going to live somewhere else where kids don't get in trouble."

When my husband and I argue he says to his Dad
"Mom's the boss so quit arguing with her!"

When I have no money he says
"But you can write a check!"

When I need to go to the ATM he says
"Are we going to the Money Store?"

My CD wallet is my
"CD Purse"

When I was putting on makeup he asked
"Do you wear that so people will think you're pretty?"

When I said yes he said
"Well that's dumb!" (He's right huh?)

When I'm cranky he says
"You need to go back to bed and get up again!"

My personal favorites are:
"I love you more than my toys."
"You're the best Mom in the whole entire universe."
"I'm glad you had a son."
"Don't kiss me in front of people!"

and of course with little boys

"But I don't NEED a bath!"


Phoneticleptos....written by Kidro

Phoneticleptos, phneticleptos
O hw yu steeel da wrodz
Naow weee muft utileyez deese
Annd luk liek ve haf branes uv brdz


The Weirdness....written by Phoenix J. Star

She's happy
she's sad
she's pissed
she's mad.
she's blunt,
she's rude,
she likes to
walk around
her the nude.
She won't take
less than a "yes",
and she'll tell you no,
faster than Heidi Fleiss
can blow.
Don't cross her path,
on a day like today.
On a day that
"the weirdness"
has taken her away.
Piss her off
and she'll stomp
on your toe,
shove you in the mud,
kick you out of the row,
she's like the bully
at the schoolyard,
a tyrant in the least.
In the early morning
she's like a huge,
fericious beast.
"Who is this?" you ask.
Why you surly must know.
She's a pre-menopausal woman,
so just sit back for the week
and enjoy the show.


well hey thanks again to all who came in during October! :grin: ..November's almost here, so come on back even more! :mrgreen:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page


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enchanted by the magic
Posts: 2190
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2002 12:01 am
Location: longview tx

Post by moonflower » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:15 pm

November, 2006

hi everyone! ..another month has sped by!..there were 18 postings in the funny forum for the month of November..each and every one of them is wonderful ..a big thanks to all who entered in here during the month..these are the ones to be highlighted..


Jade's Thanksgiving....written by Maid Of Iron

He’s just a wee green parrot
Loves his peas,
And hates his carrots,
But today, he’s thankful too

He’s grateful for his toys
He loves the day and all it’s joys,
And his favorite pumpkin seeds:
He always tells me “thank you”,
And “Bless you” when I sneeze

He’s all feathers and beak
Bold, and not meek,
He’ll bite you, have a care:
It’s just he loves his mom,
And he doesn’t like your stare

The heart of a lion,
The nerve of a thief
He loves his bay window,
And he treasures his treats

He’s thankful for his turtle friends,
He’s truly grateful for the door:
He’s knows there several cats out there,
That long to make a score

Creator made him thankful, every day;
That ‘lil creature of the morning,
Who loves to laugh and play

Today he’s really thankful!
Forgive his brazen smirking:
He knows what time it is,
He’s thankful he’s not Turkey!


Isn't Life Fun?....written by carndo

I'm just walkin' out a little music joint
and as I walk out the door
I'm back peddlin'.
Here I am white as a ghost.
My friends ask me
what's wrong?
well I'll tell this much...
it ain't no black & white kitty!
I look at my friends as they're getting ready to leave.
You take the lead and I'll follow.
because frankly I don't need to
take a bath in tomato juice!
well laughter was so thick
that tears was flowin'.
Here I am lookin' round every corner,
makin' sure I don't get sprayed.
I know damn well I'll never hear the end of this.
So when we go out
I'll hear.
Hear kitty! Kitty! kitty!
As they're laughing under someone's breath
at MY expense.
And some say the universe
has a perverse sense of humor.
Isn't life fun?


I sit....written by Berlie

I sit
and stare at
the computer
the cursor just blinks
and I swear the mouse winked
yet no words come forth
to grace these keys
and so I
still sit


spam scam....written by burdick

sneaky slimy spam scam,
someone sabotage same!
They teem tediously
trying telemarketing,
and attempt annoying
assault apparatus.
Begone belligerents,
Before being blackballed!


hey thanks again to all who dropped in during November know what i always say..come on back even more, now that its December!
Last edited by moonflower on Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page


User avatar
enchanted by the magic
Posts: 2190
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2002 12:01 am
Location: longview tx

Post by moonflower » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:16 pm

December, 2006

hi everyone..sorry to be late posting these..its been busy around here in the funny forum there were 18 postings..(thats so wonderful!! ) a big heartfelt thanks to all who came in during December!.. thats what makes this the great forum that it is!..well here are the two to be highlighted..


Turnup’s Christmas Card....written by 4rum


The wife was makin’ Christmas cards
To send, come Christmas next
In Turnup’s thoughts, the ribbon box
Was the perfect place to nest


He snuck inside the tangled mass
An’ curled up in a ball
This curlin’ took some furlin’
He is chubby after all


The wife run out of Elmer’s
She went lookin’ fer some glue
Sure enough she found Super stuff
It was frikkin’ sticky too


You might know the phone would ring
An’ it would be her sister
Yackety yak ‘fore she got back
Turnup woke an’ missed ‘er


He thought he’d check the table top
Fer unattended treats
But what he got, sure was unsought
Stuff was stickin’ to his feets

What th’ ???

He’d stick one out an’ shake it
But when he set it down
Tinsel, glitter and other litter
To his toes was bound

It gets worse

In amongst the clutter
Were brightly colored balls
When Turnup sat, imagine that
Got the picture ya’ll

Helllllp !

With a bowlegg’d, straddle, waddle
The poor cat tried to run
With hiss an’ spit an’ tizzy fit
An’ decorated buns

Stop, drop an’ roll Turnup !

The room was gettin’ smaller
As Turnup’s tensions grew
As super glued an’ paper shoed
Up the drapes he flew

Help’s on the way

That’s where the missus found him
Atop the curtain rod
She left the room to fetch the broom
“I’ll get you down, by God!”


To clean a cat by shaving
Might seem akin to sin
But scissors cuts around his nuts
Took me an’ two good men


Killing a Thesaurus....written by Sweet Insanity

Specks of red appeared on the leather cover
as I beat it repeatedly against a wall.
Turning on the oven to its highest possible temperature,
I did not wait for it to become fully heated
before I wrenched the door open,
threw it inside,
just to watch it burn, burn, burn.
“Die, you fucking word nazi!
Fucking die die die die die die die!!!”
My teeth grinding into one another.
Sallow is a stupid, pitiful word,
couldn’t I just say yellow instead?
The covers parted like two full, ugly lips,
bellowing “NO!” in response.
Too confident for its own good,
I knew then that I would have to kill it.
It didn’t see the hammer before I screamed,
“Goddamn know-it-all. Burn in hell you bastard!”
It made a hollow sound
as I beat it ruthlessly.
By the time I emerged from the kitchen
with a chainsaw,
it was too helpless to defend itself.
Five hours of diligent battle
until there it lay,
spilling out the last red
of its annoying, maddening, gigantic vocabulary.
I bent down, whispering to it,
“I win. I win you son of a bitch.”


well, my thanks again to everybody who stopped in during December (and during the whole year as well!) i have loved getting to read all the amazing entries that get posted here!..A whole new year is beginning so i hope all of you stop in even more! :mrgreen:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page


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