moonflower's favorites...October 04-March 06

Moderator's monthly picks from the "Funny Business" forum

Moderator: moonflower

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moonflower
enchanted by the magic
Posts: 2190
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2002 12:01 am
Location: longview tx

moonflowers December highlights

Post by moonflower » Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:05 pm

<a name="#015">December, 2005</a>

where did December go??..where did the whole year go???..i just cant believe how fast time goes by these days! :lol: ..in the humor forum there were 25 postings for December..thats so wonderful!! :lol: ..a BIG thanks to all who stopped in..well, as always, the choices were hard to make, but here are the ones to be highlighted.. :lol:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the Verge of Death
Wishing to be Martha Stewart....written by debab

Whenever I fly
and if turbulence appears
I can't stop thoughts
that sidle into my brain.
It's lame, I know, but still,
there it is, they grin and say,
this plane is going to crash
and soon, you will die.
I feel terror, then, and sad,
missing everyone.
I replay life in all
it's moments of joy and happiness.
Then, it manifests -
The horror!
I obsess -
(ah, regrets)
Before I left, I wish
I cleaned abode's disorder
and left a perfect house,
right down to perfectly
matched pillows for the couch
wishing we had re-painted walls
and every piece of paper,
bills and receipts were
properly filed, boxed,
and stacked in roll-out
cabinets instead of
scattered on the desk.
And why oh, why
didn't I dust before I left?
Thank goodness, air smooths
out it's bumpy path,
plane rights itself
and in a moment
I'm perusing news
waiting for the beverage cart
to bring an ice cold Pepsi.
And as for Martha Stewart, well, good riddance

-----------------------------------------

Friday Night in Blaenau Gwent....written by Ven

Oi Butt, worra yew lookin' at. Fink ya bloody ard ?
Yew fancy 'avin a crack at me or wor ?
I'll take yew 'round the back Butt un I'll mark ya bloody card.
Roll ya sleeves up ... Les see wor yew gor.

Yew call 'em bloody muscles Butt ? Yur 'avin a bloody larf.
My sister uv gor bigga pecs thun yew !
I'll call her now, she'll kick yur arse. Av you gor any friends ?
Good ! ~ Yers a quid ... You'd better fone a few.

Hang on ! Did'ew jus ask me wor I'm drinkin' ?
Um, I'll have pint a Stella. I en shy !
I fort yews gunna av a go but yur all bloody mouf.
Oh, Hang on a minute, Haha ... So um I .

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Poetry Mash....written by Eternum1


I was working on a poem late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For the poets of old began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

(They did the mash) They did the dead poets mash
(The poets mash) It was a poetry bash
(They did the mash) It caught on in a flash
(They did the mash) They did the dead poets mash

In my room where Ginsberg howls like a beast
To the parlor where Keats and Percy Shelley feast
The Poets all came in ghostly repose
To hear a rap from Longfellow

(They did the mash) They did the dead poets mash
(The poets mash) It was a poetry bash
(They did the mash) It caught on in a flash
(They did the mash) They did the dead poets mash

The Brownings were having fun, rhyming with Thich Naht Hahn
The guests included Shakespeare, Bob Marley and his son

The scene was rockin', all were digging the sound
Beowulf on chains, backed by Ezra Pound
The poets lauerate were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "Sonnet # Five"

(They played the mash) They played the dead poets mash
(The poets mash) It was a poetry bash
(They played the mash) It caught on in a flash
(They played the mash) They played the dead poets mash

Out from his coffin, Edgar's voice did ring
Seems he was thirsty for just one thing
He opened the cask of Amontillado
And said, "Glad I'm here for one last fling"

(It's now the mash) It's now the dead poets mash
(The Poets mash) And it's a poetry bash
(It's now the mash) It's caught on in a flash
(It's now the mash) It's now the dead poet's mash

Now everything's cool, Edgars a part of the band
And the 'dead poets mash' is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them ET sent you

(Then you can mash) Then you can poetry mash
(The Poetry mash) Join the poetry bash
(Then you can mash) You'll catch on in a flash
(Then you can mash) Then you can poetry mash
A-woooooooooooo, Poetry Mash, A-wooooooooooooo...

-------------------------------------------------------

Travel Advisory....written by Preston

When in France
You will enhance
Your chance for romance
If you wear clean underpants

--------------------------------------------------------

I Sit....written by Berlie

here
I sit
and stare at
the computer
the cursor just blinks
and I swear the mouse winked
yet no words come forth
to grace these keys
and so I
still sit
here

------------------------------------------------------
well thanks again everybody for making this the wonderful forum that it is.. :lol: now that its already 2006, come back and visit even more! :mrgreen:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page

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Debbie
God's Poetess
Posts: 2266
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 3:40 pm
Location: Ontario Canada

moonflower

Post by Debbie » Mon Jan 02, 2006 8:09 am

Good choices Moonflower...and congratulations all..
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Reach Out And Love Someone
Slow Down And Look around
You Will Find Someone Who Needs You.....

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heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8331
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Post by heinzs » Sat Jan 28, 2006 3:24 pm

Please do not delete or unsticky.

H.
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

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moonflower
enchanted by the magic
Posts: 2190
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2002 12:01 am
Location: longview tx

moonflowers January highlights

Post by moonflower » Tue Jan 31, 2006 8:53 pm

<a name="#016">January, 2006</a>

wow!..as always, the month (as well as the year!) has flown by so fast!..in the 'Funny Farm' there were 29 postings for January..thats really great!..i love getting to read everyones' posts :grin: ..you are all so very talented and every piece is worthy of being highlighted, i want to thank everybody for contributing their talents to this forum.. you make my job so fun!..its always hard to pick only a few, but here are the ones that i chose to be in the spotlight for January :lol: :lol: :lol:

**************************************

Silly Me.....written by kimmyjean

Tea for me
And tea for you
Imbibing in an herb
So blissful and true

One for me
Two for you
Sharing and caring
All colors of blue

Dippy doe
Tipsy do
One and one
Makes two

Sing a song
May it be long
Fall for me
As I fall for a fee

Let raindrops
Fall upon your head
Bang bang
And now you are dead

Rock me gently
Lay me down
Turn my smile
Into a frown

Round and round
Going to and fro
Where it stops
No one will know

Silly me
Silly be
I rhyme in thyme
To a different key

***************************


Jellyfish.....written by beautifullyburnt

Their funny little legs,
Wriggling around.
Cast upon the waves,
Never touching the ground.

But the littlest little Jellyfish,
Swam among the leaves,
The bushes and the branches,
Of many golden trees.

As he wriggled through,
Finding his way for the light,
His little legs got caught,
He had to stop and fight.

And as your eyes looked up above,
And caught a glance of him,
Your finger you raised,
To point, and laugh, and grin.

(Dedicated to my friend Joyce, who thinks Jellyfish live in trees.)

***************************


Too Drunk.....written by SomeoneLost

Too drunk too see straight
Too drunk to know right
Too drunk too type straight
Thank God for Word, right?

****************************


Snow.....written by Nefertari

It's snowin' and it's blowin'.
Really it's getting quite deep.
I bought a stupid sports car,
When I really need a Jeep.

Where is the darn sandtruck?
Slippin' and slidin' is how I go.
Slid off the side of the road,
Up to my hip pockets stuck in the snow.

***************************************************


well hey thanks again to everyone who stopped by to browse or post..please feel free to come back and visit even more in February! :lol: :lol:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page

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User avatar
Debbie
God's Poetess
Posts: 2266
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 3:40 pm
Location: Ontario Canada

Moonflower

Post by Debbie » Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:21 am

Congratulations to all..and of course good work to Moonflower..
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Reach Out And Love Someone
Slow Down And Look around
You Will Find Someone Who Needs You.....

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heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8331
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Post by heinzs » Sat Feb 18, 2006 7:26 pm

:bump:
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

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moonflower
enchanted by the magic
Posts: 2190
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2002 12:01 am
Location: longview tx

moonflowers February highlights

Post by moonflower » Wed Mar 01, 2006 3:51 pm

<a name="#017">February, 2006</a>

well heres another month gone whizzing by! :mrgreen:... in 'Funny Business' there were 25 postings for February..how great that is! :lol: i want to thank everyone who dropped by and shared their talents with us..also those who stopped in and browsed..its such a joy to read all the pieces in here..so much talent there is!..like always, its hard to select only a few to highlight but here are the ones for February.. :grin:

*******************************

Penguin Jamboree....written by Eternum1

I heard a tale from a whale
who swam the seven seas
Of all the places he would sail
he favored one especially

In southern lands
on icy floors as far as you can see
The fiddlers jam and call the clans
to the penguin jamboree

You can join and sit a spell
as they glide so merrily
As walruses hum and shake their jowls
with oboes on their knees

There's silver eyed fishy pie
and frozen shrimp ice cream
While ladies fan their beaks with clams
the men all stand and preen

The maestro tall enters the hall
to conduct the symphony
The couples race to take their place
to begin the night's soiree

He opens with the waddlers waltz
in three step harmony
Ladies blush when the music halts
at feathers fallen free

The music plays all night long
six months to you and me
Each night some leave to have a fling
above the frozen sea

Til pink light runs like chewing gum
in the dawn so long unseen
And underneath each Penguin bum
An egg lies warm and serene

-----------------------------------------------

Sun vs Moon....written by foreverflame

Look at you…
Too bright to see,
too hot to touch.
They awe at me.
And what an ego…
You burn up those
that get too close.
Why is that so?

I’m given power
to shine the land,
raise their crops,
warm their hands
and give them sight.
So tell me now,
what do you give them?
…besides a “howl”?

You piece of…*hmph*
I give them glow.
A place to look
when you don’t show.
You’re just mad
‘cause I give light
when you have faded
from their sight.

I never fade,
I only rest.
You really think
that you’re the best?
Then why is it
that in the daytime
you fade away
behind my rayshine?

Because you’re big
and take up space.
Trying to hide
my pretty face.
Not even the stars
can get displayed
‘cause your big a**
is in the way.

Are you mad?
Poor little moon.
Mad because
I’m bigger than you?
You can vent,
but remember pal…
It’s that big a**
you revolve around.

Oh, shut up.
Go away.
Come again some other day.
I’m leaving now.
I’m not a debater,
So go make a rainbow or something.
Later…

Leaving so soon?
Well, sorry to hurt you,
but I find that intelligence
is not your virtue.
That “go away, come again”
phrase you made
wasn’t meant for me,
it was meant for the rain.
Go now, and sleep
‘cause when you wake,
I’ll have some more
insults to say…

Grrrrrr…

*smile*…

--------------------------------------------------------

Struggling with Proverbs....written by palimpsest

necessity is the mother of invention
procrastination is the thief of time
so many proverbs to weave together
to try and make a f***ing rhyme

---------------------------------------------------------

well thanks again to all who visited here in February! :grin: March and 'almost Spring' are already upon us, so come on back and visit even more! :grin: :grin:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page

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Eternum 1
Black Ferret Poet
Posts: 2112
Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:59 am
Location: British Columbia
Contact:

Post by Eternum 1 » Wed Mar 01, 2006 4:05 pm

I always look forward to your monthly highlights and to find my poem among them is a unexpected pleasure.

thanks moonflower :hello:
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***********************

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moonflower
enchanted by the magic
Posts: 2190
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2002 12:01 am
Location: longview tx

moonflowers March highlights

Post by moonflower » Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:50 pm

<a name="#018">March, 2006</a>

hooray! :lol: ..spring has officially arrived! in the funny forum there were 25 postings for the month of March!..thats so great! :lol: a big thanks to all who stopped in..it was difficult to choose, as always, but here are the pieces to be spotlighted for March.. :grin:

*************************************************

Roadkill.....written by winsome

Just a simple trip to the store
to bring back dinner for a family of four
when the unfortunate accident occurred
as I swerved, letting out a few choice words...
...this is my story...

Tires screeching, then a thud
A bloated carcass lay bleeding
on the side of the road
perfectly still
in a mangled lump
of fur and flesh
Dead as door nail
judging by the stench
yet still warm to the touch
A fresh kill
Looks like a keeper
So I'll grab my shovel and pail
and it'll be road kill for dinner
But I'll tell them that's chicken of course
and not horse!


"I Swear I never saw that damn thing jump the fence!"

-----------------------------------------------------------

La Ti Da.....written by Phoenix J. star

Its one of those days,
a la ti da day,
When all your cares
are blown away.
Your dog chewed up
your new pair of shoes,
your daughter decided
it would be fun to eat glue.
Your family seems to
be all upity about
this and that,
just how do you tell them
you don't give a rat's ass?
It's one of those days,
a la ti da day,
when you don't care
that your ass seems to be
the size of your Aunt May's,
and you have gray hair showing
through your new dye job,
and you just don't care
that your neighbor's car
got robbed.
How do you tell them that
its all their fault.
They shouldn't run stop
signs and flip people off.
It's just one of those days.
A la ti da day.
All my cares were washed
away with the rain.
So bitch and moan to me,
cause I"ll pretend to listen,
as I'm thinking about how
your shiny face glistens
in these bright floriscent lights,
oh I'm sorry,
what did you say?
I can't wait to go home tonight.
La ti da...
------------------------------------------------------------

25 cent words.....written by heinzs

Trumped up charges pleonastic
epitomize the bombastic -
effortlessly tautologous
when in fact autologous.

Gratitude to monsieur Roget
for this chance with words to play.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Buffalo Bob.....written by Ven

Bob the Buffalo Carpet Beetle
tucked his legs in and went fetal
at the mention of upholstery steamers
or super sucking vacuum cleaners.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

well hey, thanks again everyone for stopping in during March :grin: ..feel free to come back and visit even more in April! :mrgreen: (dont forget to set your clocks ahead 1 hour tomorrow night!) :grin: :grin:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page

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rlnimages
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 85
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2005 11:43 am

Post by rlnimages » Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:56 pm

Cool picks, moonflower :wink:

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