Oh Hell!

A place to enjoy the interactive sport of Roleplay exercises, post your prose, short stories, story poems, prose poems and epics. This forum does not autoprune

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heinzs
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Oh Hell!

Post by heinzs » Tue Dec 10, 2002 11:24 pm

Oh Hell!

Black dogs snarl and growl at the frenzied feast. Putrid flesh flies as the corpse is torn asunder. I cower in the deep shadows hoping they will not notice me and wonder at this predicament. How came I to this place, reeking with the stench of death, and in dangerous proximity to the demon hounds?

I remember the Riviera... warm sun, white sand, and her - a blue-eyed goddess, object of my affections. Yes, I had chosen the nefarious route to gain a material advantage, but the playboy lifestyle required considerable ready cash, which she was ever-willing to help me spend. And spend we did - so much so that the once "endless" supply quickly dwindled and became an unbearable trickle.

It was then the opportunity arose - the chance of a thief's lifetime. A passing acquaintance mentioned he knew where a most sacred relic could be found in the possession of a private collector. I was moderately intrigued, but my companion seemed impassioned at the thought of getting her hands on the item - the one true Grail!

From idea to action took virtually no time. Once we had the location, it was a simple matter to set up the surveillance and develop our plan of attack. It was all too easy. Maybe I should have been suspicious then - but I took our 'good fortune' as a sign of imminent success.

So there we found ourselves - standing in the great hall, surrounded by the collector's relics. A cornucopia of artifacts gleaned from the long history of the human condition spread out before us. Here were Arthur's sword, Excalibur; the REAL Mona Lisa; Van Gogh's ear (in alcohol); and the mummy of Edgar Allen Poe. At the far end of the hall were the religious relics; Joan of Arc's ashes; a fragment of Abraham's tablets; a piece of Noah's ark; and, of course, the Grail!

I was awed at the sheer unbelievability of the situation, and just stared for a few moments at the objects around me. It was then that my partner in crime took the initiative and leaped forward to take the Grail from its supporting pedestal. As her hand touched the cup it seemed like the whole room shook and a thundering rumble filled my ears. Flames shot from the cup, totally engulfing her in the conflagration. She screamed once, then darkness fell upon us and I lost consciousness.

I awakened here - on this plane of death and desolation. The stench of sulfur overpowers even the smell of rotting flesh. Her body lay before me, bloated and grim, and I turned away. That was when they came - the Devil's dogs... to feed. It had all been a trap to catch us in our own greed and willingness to desecrate sanctity for personal gain.

But wait... they are turning - sniffing the air. They have caught my scent, and there's nowhere to run...

12/10/2002
HeinzS

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secluded_refuge
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Oh Hell!

Post by secluded_refuge » Fri Jan 10, 2003 12:30 am

EEK!!! Very interesting. I have dibs on the ear.

~*~Liz <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

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heinzs
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Oh Hell!

Post by heinzs » Mon Jan 13, 2003 5:40 pm

Sorry, the dogs ate it already.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

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secluded_refuge
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Oh Hell!

Post by secluded_refuge » Wed Jan 15, 2003 10:47 pm

Shucks!!! <img border="0" alt="[darn]" title="" src="graemlins/darn.gif" /> I guess I'll have to settle for the mummy.

~*~Liz <img border="0" alt="[book]" title="" src="graemlins/book.gif" />

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heinzs
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Oh Hell!

Post by heinzs » Sun Aug 24, 2003 5:34 pm

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

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kuperian4ever
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Post by kuperian4ever » Tue Oct 14, 2003 10:24 pm

Heinzs,

I almost thought your story had been deleted somehow as there are replies above and below it.

Anyway..what a story. Based somewhat on Judeo/Christian theology
regarding hell and what happens there. I quite enjoyed the read. It
kind of leaves the reader wanting a bit more salsa on the taco though. :wink: :wink:
Last edited by kuperian4ever on Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Bric-a Brac

Death will be your final victory over life
Rejoice, for victory comes even as you live
Spread your arms and embrace the future

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heinzs
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Post by heinzs » Tue Oct 14, 2003 11:27 pm

Yeah, kupe. I've noticed this juxtaposed problem in several topics post move to the new server. Thanks for reading!

H.
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heinzs
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Post by heinzs » Tue Nov 11, 2003 6:06 pm

:cool:
I've resynced this. Here are the old replies:

LadySaturn
Posted: 10 Dec 2002 01:30:pm Post subject: Oh Hell!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AUGGHHH!!! *Hides under her throne scared* Heinzs, I got the poop scared out me when I read this. By the way, I bought Joan of Arc's ashes at an auction last week.


gordy
Posted: 10 Dec 2002 08:01:pm Post subject: Oh Hell!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oh my heavens!!!!! good writing!!!
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heinzs
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Re: Oh Hell!

Post by heinzs » Sun Jun 12, 2011 2:47 pm

:bump:
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mAImaS
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Re: Oh Hell!

Post by mAImaS » Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:36 am

Hey, Pops. I've been reading through some of your stories. You have the classical voice when you write, as if someone from that time-period really wrote it. How'd you do that? :shrug:
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heinzs
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Re: Oh Hell!

Post by heinzs » Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:41 am

That's my story telling voice. I guess a lot of the reading I've done, particularly Poe, Howard, Tolkien and Lewis, has worn off on me. Thanks for the comment. I don't get too many... :thumbsup: :mrgreen:
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mAImaS
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Re: Oh Hell!

Post by mAImaS » Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:52 am

I'm researching for a book I want to write based on my familiy's history. It takes place in 1831, so it's totally different from anything I've written before. I usually write action-horror-comedy. This'll be more drama than anything. Truthfully, it's rather intimidating. So, you're suggesting (in a round-about way) that I read material based on that time period? You make it flow so naturally. I'm afraid mine will sound forced. Another thing, I want to post a recent short story I completed in order to get some feedback, but I'm paranoid about having it plagerized by someone (no one in particular). It's happened to me before with my Nuthouse articles. Do you ever worry about that?
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heinzs
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Re: Oh Hell!

Post by heinzs » Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:03 am

This site gets very little traffic and I've not seen any of my material plagiarized other than to be reposted here by some nutcake spammer. The trick to that is apparently to make a hard copy and post it to yourself so you have an envelope with a valid USPS mailing cancellation prior to posting it. Then, if it is ever plagiarized online you have a document (keep it sealed) that will prove your initial authorship. You can search for online plagiarism by entering a representative line from the document into a google or yahoo search. That's how I find 90% of the ones that post here. Most new members don't know that I search their works online for prior postings elsewhere... usually it's them posting under a different alias. I make it a point to contact both authors to confirm they are one and the same. I've ferreted out several actual plagiarists that way and made the tru author very happy in the process.

In other words, no, I've not worried about my material being plagiarized. I have no commercial interest in it to start with and only post for the edification of my friends online and myself.
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mAImaS
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Re: Oh Hell!

Post by mAImaS » Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:07 am

Cool. I'm impressed that you go to that extent to protect the writing of others. I am a greedy bastard and want to make money off my writing, so it does matter to me. Thanks for the info. :thumbsup:
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bags123
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Re: Oh Hell!

Post by bags123 » Sat Aug 27, 2011 1:56 pm

Definitely has a Lovecraftian air about it. I love H.P. Especially his "Mountains of Madness". Did the H of his H P stand for Heinz? :hello:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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