Only Connection

[Black Star Shine]

I threw it out the window. I cried out his name, but got no answer from the pounding rain or the doll. I ran downstairs and out into the driveway quickly to retrieve the precious Barbie. Scott, my best friend in the whole world had given it to me as a birthday present for my seventeenth birthday. Now, he was gone, dead, forever….

I looked up at the grey sky as rain pelted my skin and melted my mascara down my face, now holding the doll. “Where are you?” I sobbed. “Scott, don’t leave me!”

No one answered as I should have known; he hadn’t answered my cries and pleads for two days now. No one would answer them for fear of giving me hope. I should have known I couldn’t ever talk to him after I received that letter at school.

I love you, goodnight,
I hope you sleep tight,
Tomorrow you’ll live
Tonight I shall die.
I only left a note for you
Because you were always there
But things have come up,
And I feel bare.
Life doesn’t treat me fair,
It never has before,
So I’m going to a better place,
Or so I’ve heard.
You’re my best friend,
And I love you always,
Through rain and sunshine,
Forever and a couple days.
It wasn't easy leaving you,
But remember I love you,
I love you,
I’ll be your guardian now.
Love forever,
Scott.

I cried some more as I wrapped my arms around myself and fell to my knees on the hard concrete. I stroked the sopping doll’s hair as mine plastered itself to my face. Scott had said her name was very special, and that I should always keep her near to my heart. But then he left me….

In with a bullet, out with hearts… he killed himself without even talking to me.

“Don’t do anything stupid without me” I whispered harshly under my breath. Those had been my last words to him, it had always been an inside joke between us, and now the words scratched at my heart, leaving scars that wouldn’t ever heal.

A picture flashed into my mind. I had run to his house after I received my note from him, trying to prove to myself that he wasn't really gone. I had glanced into the kitchen at his house while running up to his bedroom… and I had seen the splatters of blood on the wall myself….

“Please come back….” I sobbed incoherently at the doll. “Scott, I cant live without you!” thunder drown me out as I screamed at the sky. It wasn't fair. Why’d he have to die… why… why…?

I stood carefully, walking back towards the house. I kicked of my mud caked shoes by the door and went to the kitchen. The doll was clutched to my body in a protective manner.

“Scott,” I whispered, fishing through the drawer by the sink. I gripped the handle of what I was searching for. I kissed my Barbie doll once on the head then said my final words on earth. “Scott, I’m coming for you…”

[heinzs]

Despair drives many to the final act, which only breeds more despair. Very strong and well composed, BSS.

[Black Star Shine]

thank you for taking the time to read and comment Heinzs