A Ravyn has flown out of a cyclone and into death.

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Moongem
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A Ravyn has flown out of a cyclone and into death.

Post by Moongem » Fri May 21, 2004 11:01 pm

Not This Time or: A Ravyn Has Flown Out of a Cyclone and Into Death

Tribute to A Woman Loved; Jennifer Sloan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Ravyn has flown out of a cyclone and into death...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About 2 years ago, I read a story so painful to me, I was affected in the deepest levels of my mind, spirit and soul. I read and wept for 5 hours on a dark, moon-lit night into the wee hours of morning. Two years ago, I was given a gift. And I would like to share its momentum.

Jennifer Sloan died Sunday, May 16, 2004. For her, a release from mind's hell, for us who knew her, a mix of denial and sorrow, and relief of sorts, for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black Bird...Fly
by Moongem

I met a black bird one dawning day.
She was bleeding, her plumage
in tatters. Her eyes, oh, god,
her eyes had seen so much,
they were dulled, though not blind,
defaced by embittered kind.

I read this black bird's shocking story,
and I cried, openly wept,
offered my salted saddened thoughts,
hoping to repay, somehow, humanity’s debt,
what others had ripped from her, without respect.
Her innocence and trust
I could not find, for they had died.

Fledged by despair, wrapped in acid thorns,
she tore herself open, poured her blood
into my heart. I was shaken.
Her agony became a weighty gift.
I felt bitterly blessed, painfully spliced.
She unknowingly changed my life, that night,
as I experienced her crippled mind.

I held the black bird to my light,
whispering love to calm her fright.
I wanted her to see her beauty,
with untainted sight. She sighed
as she explained to me what would not be.
I crawled within her dark black wings,
swept her close, and hopelessly grieved.

I heard my black bird sing her dirge,
slicing winds with tormented words,
her memoried eyes glittered with tears,
her spirit bleak with horrible fears,
yet, she shined so bright. I promised her
I would continually reach for skies
she could no longer see. And I wept.

She hadn’t told me she was going to die.

Erin Moen
2/28/04
© Copyright

Jenn's deepest wish was to have her poems, scribbles and experiences published inot a book. Some of us from the PoetryPages compiled, edited and published her book in the last few months with Jenn's help, though she was weak and dying from cancer. Far more than we knew. It's title, "The Ravyn: Riding the Cyclone". Published by Lulu, it is available to mature audiences.

http://www.lulu.com/theravyn

The title has just been listed but not yet marked for sale, as of a couple of days ago, at Barnes and Noble.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/bookse ... 7015&itm=4

I also have a link to her website on my bio page at AuthorsDen for anyone who would like to read her story there.

http://www.authorsden.com/externalsite. ... kmesa&msg=

In closing, I share this piece I wrote the morning after I found out she had died. Jenn's story is powerful, poignant, horrible, shocking, brave and, overall, so human. I still need her *s*(her way of smiling), the smile you felt in your mind and heart.

These were her last words to me, in a private message.

"all hugs are most welcome erin *hugz* i really don't have a time frame ... i guess without treatments ... which i have halted as of march 21st ... it could be months ... or it could be years ... i'm going with years ... but i have a sinking feeling it will be months ... please know that you need do nothing for me ... you have already done enough just by being who you are ... a kind word and a smile are worth more than the contents of every bank vault in the world combined twice over ... and these you have already given freely ... and i will thank you forever ... be at peace my friend ... and perhaps someday we will meet ... beyond the sund'ring sea"

I will miss her so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not This Time
Dedicated to Jennifer Sloan

I look ahead to future-colder, Bird.
Your past presented filled me with hot fears,
for sanity seemed skewed, from what I’d heard.
And now, Ravyn sings no more. Damn, the tears

scorch my cheeks, eyes continually weep,
though she scolded us not to mourn. See you,
World! How compassion and need cannot keep
a tindered spark alive? Salted eyes, do

you view her in blue-bold skies? Want to fly,
by tying your heart into tangled wings?
So many things are left unsaid… How high
can desolation reach? Unheard life brings

complacency. But not this time, Black Bird,
all will read the pain carried in your words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This piece came a few hours later. When you have cyber-friends, you cannot be there physically, can only wonder how there lives are going in reality's time. Had I been with Jenn, still my thoughts would be of hers.

I Wonder Your Thoughts As You Lie Dying

I wonder your thoughts as you lie dying, love.
Did your memories pain you still? Once,
you had told me you accepted your death,
but I knew you were scared. Scared
to stay alive in a body scarred by kind.
Did you hate them still, love? I do,
and I ever will, they, who savagely spirit-kill.

I wonder your thoughts as you lie dying, love.
Did you hate yourself, still? Scarred
and bound by ugly bars of another’s hand,
you felt ashamed, dirty with filth.
Did you see his face in your daughter’s smile,
and the savaging continue, commandeered by self?
I felt you cloak your eyes, love, lest pain overspill.

I wonder your thoughts as you lie dying, Jenn.
Did you feel the love that you held? Shocked,
we gathered you close, felt heart pounding still
with fear, not of death, but of living.
We leaned on you, who passed on comfort,
wryly smiling; still, you held. I hope you find
serenity, love, for alive, I never will.

I will think of you when I lie dying, Jenn,
as my heartbeat slowly stills.

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
Photo by Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
© Copyright 5/20/04

I will remember and honor you always, Jenn. Sweet bird, fly home.

Your friend in life and death,
Erin
Last edited by Moongem on Fri May 19, 2006 9:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Phoenix J. Star
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Post by Phoenix J. Star » Wed Jul 21, 2004 8:18 pm

I am sitting here at work bored and reading as much of the Ravyn's work as I possibly can because I realized when I came back to the site after a short break that I had taken everyone here for granted. I took everyone's pressence for granted. I just assumed that everyone would still be here when I came back. Little did I know then how wrong I was. I was very shocked to find out what had happened. I still am. I know i'm a little late with this, but better late than never eh? I wish I could have known this amazing woman better than just what I knew here. But then again I'm glad I got to come in contact with her at all, even if it was just through her work. I look at my life and realize how good I really do have it. I feel like a inconsiderate spoiled brat when I realize how much I have to be greatful for, even if my life isin't as good as I would like it to be. I have my health, a beautiful healthy daughter, a roof over my head, even if there isin't always money to eat, I know someone will feed me in my family. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain the Ravyn went through in her life. Even though I did not know her well, I will miss her. I'm glad that I got to read her work and I know her spirit will live on here at the poetrypages.
"The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."
Oscar Wilde

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poetonadryspell
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Post by poetonadryspell » Sun Jul 09, 2006 11:44 am

dose she have other poem books out with all her work
Image

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thief of dreams
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Post by thief of dreams » Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:37 pm


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