Rain Dance

A place for new members to post their poetry so we may get to know them and their poetry better. Caution: may contain mature content or language.
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A place for new members to post their poetry so we may get to know them and their poetry better. NO erotica.
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Lonnie
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 75
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:27 pm
Location: North Carolina

Rain Dance

Post by Lonnie » Mon Aug 13, 2012 5:15 am

Rain Dance



Melodic staccato of rhythmic rain
pattering softly against the glass
of my inter-dimensional windowpane
bringing me visions that weep and pass

Pattering softly against the glass
creating a sound that others miss
bringing me visions that weep and pass
like star-crossed lovers who sadly kiss

Creating a sound that others miss
the rain reveals its secret heart
like star-crossed lovers who sadly kiss
and then by fate are torn apart

The rain reveals its secret heart
rhythms driven to belong
and then by fate are torn apart
relinquishing each separate song

Rhythms driven to belong
falling now as tears of pain
relinquishing each separate song
melodic staccato of rhythmic rain


C. Lon R. Bruso

goldenrod
Babbling Brook Poet
Posts: 331
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:12 am
Location: London, Ontario

Re: Rain Dance

Post by goldenrod » Mon Aug 13, 2012 2:53 pm

Your poem reminds me as to why I began cautiously, dancing between the raindrops, as I grew older! :shock:
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Lonnie
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 75
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:27 pm
Location: North Carolina

Re: Rain Dance

Post by Lonnie » Mon Aug 13, 2012 4:46 pm

Well thank you, I think! LOL!!

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Travis
The Transformed One
Posts: 463
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2012 5:31 pm
Tag line: The Truth Transforms
Location: North Eastern, IN
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Re: Rain Dance

Post by Travis » Mon Aug 13, 2012 4:55 pm

I like the manner in which you wrote this; has a nice rhythm to it and you paint some great images for your reader.

~Travis :wink:
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The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. ~Marcus Aurelius

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**Member of the Month**
May 2012

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bags123
Insufferable Crouton
Posts: 4701
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2002 12:01 am
Location: Upstate

Re: Rain Dance

Post by bags123 » Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:23 am

Being a percussionist myself,...I can appreciate
Melodic staccato of rhythmic rain
pattering softly against the glass
. :cheers:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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Lonnie
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 75
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:27 pm
Location: North Carolina

Re: Rain Dance

Post by Lonnie » Tue Aug 14, 2012 8:18 am

My thanks go out to Travis and Bags123 for their kind and much appreciated comments!

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