Go
Be Gone
As you look through me
With piercing, icy blue eyes
You are the wicked northerly wind
A roaring laughter
Blowing blatant bellows
Cutting until i am numb
These scars no longer bleed
They are only cracks
On a slippery shallow surface
But I never saw the warning sign:
“No skating-thin ice”
I fell in
Broken
Bleeding
Feeling the pain once again…
©~Travis
An After-THAWt
Forum rules
A place for new members to post their poetry so we may get to know them and their poetry better. NO erotica.
Autoprune: 12-months
A place for new members to post their poetry so we may get to know them and their poetry better. NO erotica.
Autoprune: 12-months
- Travis
- The Transformed One
- Posts: 463
- Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2012 5:31 pm
- Tag line: The Truth Transforms
- Location: North Eastern, IN
- Contact:
An After-THAWt
Last edited by Travis on Thu Mar 08, 2012 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. ~Marcus Aurelius
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**Member of the Month**
May 2012
- Eric
- A Poet in the Rain
- Posts: 215
- Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2011 7:44 am
- Tag line: Learn this Life
- Location: Webster MA
- Contact:
Re: An After-THAWt
Pain as follows ... I like it and your style!
***Poetry Pages Poet of the Month June 2012***
Author Award winning Blizzards of Thought A Book of Reflection March 2011 http://www.blizzardsofthought.com/
Author Award winning Blizzards of Thought A Book of Reflection March 2011 http://www.blizzardsofthought.com/
- Travis
- The Transformed One
- Posts: 463
- Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2012 5:31 pm
- Tag line: The Truth Transforms
- Location: North Eastern, IN
- Contact:
Re: An After-THAWt
Thanks for the comments, Eric! I have often thought of leaving "now" out of the third line from the bottom...tends to have a more of a profound affect!
~Travis
~Travis
The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. ~Marcus Aurelius
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**Member of the Month**
May 2012
- heinzs
- The Fat Cat
- Posts: 8419
- Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
- Tag line: Do no harm
- Location: Novato, CA
- Contact:
Re: An After-THAWt
I agree... the "now" is superfluous and actually dilutes the impact.
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started
- Travis
- The Transformed One
- Posts: 463
- Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2012 5:31 pm
- Tag line: The Truth Transforms
- Location: North Eastern, IN
- Contact:
Re: An After-THAWt
Thanks for the confirmation, Heinzs! It is done!
The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. ~Marcus Aurelius
************************************************************************************
**Member of the Month**
May 2012
- Eric
- A Poet in the Rain
- Posts: 215
- Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2011 7:44 am
- Tag line: Learn this Life
- Location: Webster MA
- Contact:
Re: An After-THAWt
Heinz is always good for some critical advice ! lol :P
***Poetry Pages Poet of the Month June 2012***
Author Award winning Blizzards of Thought A Book of Reflection March 2011 http://www.blizzardsofthought.com/
Author Award winning Blizzards of Thought A Book of Reflection March 2011 http://www.blizzardsofthought.com/
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