On A Mission

A place for new members to post their poetry so we may get to know them and their poetry better. Caution: may contain mature content or language.
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A place for new members to post their poetry so we may get to know them and their poetry better. NO erotica.
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Charles Revitt
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 27
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:35 am
Tag line: Experience everything
Location: Sheffield, UK

On A Mission

Post by Charles Revitt » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:27 am

There's nothing like finding a body to share when you're hurting and hating inside.
Intense, like an exposed nerve.
Revenge, sex and blood all taste sweet
Especially when they're deserved.

Chaos stops me falling apart.
That's the 1% that's real.
Nobody has been with me from the start.
Nobody knows how I feel.

I know a man, he's on a mission.
I know a man, he's got something missing.
I know a man, outraged by all he sees
I know a man, thinks death will set him free.
I know a man, a man just like me.
C.R.
September 2006
Copyrighted
"Some will die in hot pursuit in fiery auto crashes.
Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes.
Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain."

.......The Butthole Surfers
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Jadynara
Melpomenes Heiress
Posts: 552
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 9:49 am
Location: My Ocean of Dreams
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Re: On A Mission

Post by Jadynara » Wed Jul 13, 2011 2:16 pm

I really like the way this piece reads the last stanza especially. I think the last two stanza's could stand on their own with out the first. Thank you for sharing. :)
So we're lost, at least we've found each other. Take my hand, if we can't find our way out of the dark, we can make our own light. - Nicole M. Goretzke 2011
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Charles Revitt
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 27
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:35 am
Tag line: Experience everything
Location: Sheffield, UK

Re: On A Mission

Post by Charles Revitt » Sun Jul 24, 2011 1:54 am

I like that quote
"Some will die in hot pursuit in fiery auto crashes.
Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes.
Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain."

.......The Butthole Surfers
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heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8419
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
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Re: On A Mission

Post by heinzs » Sun Jul 24, 2011 9:41 am

I agree with Jadynara. The poem seems more complete without the first stanza.

:thumbsup:
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Jadynara
Melpomenes Heiress
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Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 9:49 am
Location: My Ocean of Dreams
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Re: On A Mission

Post by Jadynara » Sun Jul 24, 2011 2:03 pm

Which quote? the one in my signature?
So we're lost, at least we've found each other. Take my hand, if we can't find our way out of the dark, we can make our own light. - Nicole M. Goretzke 2011
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Charles Revitt
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 27
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:35 am
Tag line: Experience everything
Location: Sheffield, UK

Re: On A Mission

Post by Charles Revitt » Mon Jul 25, 2011 2:23 am

Yes, that's the one.
"Some will die in hot pursuit in fiery auto crashes.
Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes.
Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain."

.......The Butthole Surfers
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User avatar
Charles Revitt
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 27
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:35 am
Tag line: Experience everything
Location: Sheffield, UK

Re: On A Mission

Post by Charles Revitt » Mon Jul 25, 2011 2:27 am

It was originaly written with another stanza after the 2nd but I was Never happy with it. Though I may add it sometime. Thanks for reading my stuff. I appreciate all criticism wether it be possitive or negative.
"Some will die in hot pursuit in fiery auto crashes.
Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes.
Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain."

.......The Butthole Surfers
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