The slow death of a good man

A place for new members to post their poetry so we may get to know them and their poetry better. Caution: may contain mature content or language.
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A place for new members to post their poetry so we may get to know them and their poetry better. NO erotica.
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blood_dragonknight
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 13
Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:14 am
Location: Yantis, TX

The slow death of a good man

Post by blood_dragonknight » Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:48 am

The Slow Death of a Good Man


For what has felt as an eternity and a day,
I have been empty and broken in two,
Nothing could ease my suffering and torment,
Darkness grew within my heart and mind,
And nothing could bring me joy.

I sought out into the world of darkness,
I sought a release from this torture,
An end to this empty existance of life,
Something to fill the void and make me whole,
But nothing I found assisted my plight.

When I thought I had found what I sought,
It always proved only a temporary fix,
And left me feeling even more broken,
Increased my suffering and clouded my mind,
Until I ceased my quest for happiness.

For a long time now I have been nothing,
I blocked my feelings of emptiness,
I shielded myself from any and all pain,
I surrounded my heart with barbed wire,
I defended myself with evil and darkness.

A light in the darkness shining ever so brightly,
A beacon of false hope and a shatterer of dreams,
Shredding the last parts of my heart that weren't scarred,
Destroying any hope of my becoming whole once more,
Now the world should fear me, for I am the destroyer of all.



Opinions for a title, and if its any good or not, are always appreciated.
Last edited by blood_dragonknight on Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
My strength is the goodness within my heart. My weakness.....just happens to be the same.

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Nefertari
Queen of the Nile
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Location: Idaho
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Re: Untitled poem by me.

Post by Nefertari » Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:57 am

Destroyer of All or Eternity and A Day...might be good titles.
The Queen of ancient Egypt, fair and wise.

IT'S DUSTY IN HERE, CLEAN MY PYRAMID!

The Nile is rising...now I've got MUD!!

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heinzs
The Fat Cat
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Tag line: Do no harm
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Re: Untitled poem by me.

Post by heinzs » Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:40 am

Maybe "The Birth of Mephistopheles"... might be an eye catcher :-)

Cheers! Thanks for posting.

:hello:
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nekot
Poetry Piper
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Location: North Carolina, USA
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Re: Untitled poem by me.

Post by nekot » Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:12 am

"Flipside"

"Coin"

"Dichotomy of One"


As far as it being good or not? It hits home with me. Catches a glimpse, ever so deeply, to part of the human condition and response.

I'm not much of poetry critique-er. Like all art, so much is subjective. One person's like is another's dis.

I have no disses for this piece...only likes.

:thumbsup:
~eloquently scattered~
nekot's tokens

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blood_dragonknight
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 13
Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:14 am
Location: Yantis, TX

Re: The slow death of a good man

Post by blood_dragonknight » Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:01 pm

Thank yall for the title idea's. I'm learning, scary thought that I'm actually learning lol, that I need to title my poems based upon the overall message that I am attempting to convey to the reader. My reasoning behind that ideal is that my poems are an expression of how I feel, but we all feel different about certain feelings. An example is, somebody who's always been accepted as a person, wouldn't understand the feelings of somebody who's always felt rejected. But overall this line of thought is probly a mistake, because it narrows the audience down to those few people who are interested in sharing in, or are themselves experiencing, those same feelings.
My strength is the goodness within my heart. My weakness.....just happens to be the same.

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