there was a mole on your cheek

A permanent archive dedicated to the memory of Jennifer Sloan. Read The Ravyn's story in poetry and prose. Post your own story or seek help in The Ravyn's Wings forum.

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The Ravyn
riding the cyclone
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by The Ravyn » Sat Jul 05, 2003 9:24 pm

there was a mole on your cheek
high up, beside your right eye
your close-cropped blonde hair
sticking up like tiny needles
and the curl of your upper lip
always fascinated me just before
the blows would begin and i
slipped through reality into
the fog bank of agony at your feet

but mostly i remember that mole
high up, beside your right eye
that little spot of color in
an otherwise bland landscape
i held the pistol in my right hand
and thumbed off the safety catch
and gripped with my ebbing strength
pooling up around my ankles
in a quagmire of emotion, emotionless

i aimed at that mole, the one
yes, you know the one
and i prayed to god in heaven
that you would wake up, look into my eyes
as i pulled the trigger and sent you
on the endless flight beyond time's borders
but you slept on, snoring heavily
and i laid the gun beside your pillow
a little reminder of the me you stole away

and yes, i still remember that mole
high up, beside your right eye
do you remember anything of me?
i hope you do, if only one thing
i hope you remember my parting gift
placed gently between the blood stains
and the broken ribs which were
your gifts to me during our nine months
as master and slave, the gift of life

and i sit here and i wonder
if i really did the right thing

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Tom Watson
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by Tom Watson » Sat Jul 05, 2003 11:19 pm

Wow! Nothing grand enough to say about this other than: <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[ThumbsUp]" title="" src="graemlins/thumbsup.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[goofy]" title="" src="graemlins/goofy.gif" />
<img border="0" alt="[TheWave]" title="" src="graemlins/thewave.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[BowDown]" title="" src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[TheWave]" title="" src="graemlins/thewave.gif" />
and THANKS!

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Floetry Spades
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by Floetry Spades » Sun Jul 06, 2003 1:38 pm

Complete overload of emotions. <img border="0" alt="[Microwave]" title="" src="graemlins/microwave.gif" /> I'm speechless.Words can't descibe how much that poem touched me.

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Gillian
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by Gillian » Sun Jul 06, 2003 2:15 pm

It's strange that something so terrible ends up being so beautiful.

I read a poem (not!) on another site this morning. Written from the perspective of a wife wishing she could leave an abusive relationship. The poem (not!) left me angry for a lot of reasons. They didn't have a clue about the subject, or object, of what they were writing about. God I wish I could show them your piece.

Thank you for such truth.

Gillian

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Aschmutt
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by Aschmutt » Mon Jul 07, 2003 2:03 am

wow....this piece saddened me yet made me thankful at the same time. not what i expected from the title at all. what i am feeling after reading this cannot even really be put into words. your life and your writing always amaze me, and i love learning more about your through your writing. this piece really touched me, and i thank you for sharing it with us. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="smile.gif" />

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The Ravyn
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by The Ravyn » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:29 pm

*s* thanks! after i wrote this i thought ... yeah there's the best one ever ... but it's just another mediocre piece of shi*t to add to my pile of mediocre sh*t ... i think i'll go crawl into a hole for a few years now ... toodles <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Darn]" src="darn.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Crying]" title="" src="graemlins/cry.gif" />

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boricua1v

there was a mole on your cheek

Post by boricua1v » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:32 pm

NO, IT WAS GREAT... I LUV'D IT.. BROUGHT TEARS AND UNDERSTANDING... <img border="0" alt="[ThumbsUp]" title="" src="graemlins/thumbsup.gif" />

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The Ravyn
riding the cyclone
Posts: 306
Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: We miss you Jen
Location: Denver, CO
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by The Ravyn » Wed Jul 09, 2003 11:12 pm

thanks chrissy ... sorry to be a whiner ... am just in a ... ugly mood tonight ...

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Aschmutt
Clearwater Poet
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by Aschmutt » Thu Jul 10, 2003 1:48 am

jenn,
I would never call any of your work " a piece of ****" and in fact have always thought very highly of your writing. i can understand, however, how easy it is to be so self critical- i am the same way. wish i could do something to brighten your mood....maybe some writing will help. anyways, here is a quote i have to ponder:
"The obstacle is the path."
short, yet meaningful.
take care of yourself.
Andrea <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="smile.gif" />

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bags123
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by bags123 » Thu Jul 10, 2003 6:13 am

Ravyn,Raven,Ravin,Rayvn-Please crawl out of your hole and realize that this is a wonderful piece of work. It touchs on so many emotions, and conveys them in such a way, that the reader feels them as clearly as the heat from a camp fire. Perk up a little, and appreciate the talent you have. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

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Raven Aurora
Immortal, Interrupted
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by Raven Aurora » Thu Jul 10, 2003 3:14 pm

You're not alone in your suffering... and you should not feel so antipathetic, dear. You are a true talent and that is where your beauty shines.

Many blessings,

Raven Aurora

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Lomax Bridges

there was a mole on your cheek

Post by Lomax Bridges » Thu Jul 10, 2003 6:28 pm

<img border="0" alt="[TheWave]" title="" src="graemlins/thewave.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[BowDown]" title="" src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[BowDown]" title="" src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[BowDown]" title="" src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" />
Don't ever think anything bad about your writing...it's exactly what it should be...a beautiful expression from a beautiful person...This poem is amazing... <img border="0" alt="[ThumbsUp]" title="" src="graemlins/thumbsup.gif" />

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Mystical Light
Clearwater Poet
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there was a mole on your cheek

Post by Mystical Light » Thu Jul 10, 2003 7:07 pm

This is a great write. Very touching <img border="0" alt="[ThumbsUp]" title="" src="graemlins/thumbsup.gif" />

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Crowtiger

there was a mole on your cheek

Post by Crowtiger » Thu Jul 10, 2003 8:51 pm

A VERY POWERFUL PIECE!!!!!!
Thanks for sharing. May all blessings be yours! <img border="0" alt="[ThumbsUp]" title="" src="graemlins/thumbsup.gif" />

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xcess

there was a mole on your cheek

Post by xcess » Thu Aug 21, 2003 12:07 pm

<img border="0" alt="[Bump]" title="" src="graemlins/bump.gif" /> Just in case anyone missed this one I found buried in the outer pages. There's a certain truth to this poem that knocks you on your ass. I loved it.

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