Personal Progress (A Villanelle)

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bags123
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Personal Progress (A Villanelle)

Post by bags123 » Thu Jan 23, 2014 8:31 am

Personal Progress ( A Villanelle)

I willed myself to follow what was true
Then gathered what I found inside my head
and everyday my dreams just grew and grew

At night I'd ponder what next I should do
Of all the things I planned before I'm dead
I willed myself to follow what was true

I realized soon that I was one of few
Who dreamed while wide awake and not in bed
and everyday my dreams just grew and grew

I knew that very soon I should break through
Discovering the path from all I'd read
I willed myself to follow what was true

Confused by all the things I never knew
I wondered if the truth was even true
and everyday my dreams just grew and grew

But now I see there's never any clue
The truth exists beyond thoughts in my head
I willed myself to follow what was true
now everyday I learn more than I knew





I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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jeannerené
Winter's Rose
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Re: Oral Tradition (A Villanelle)

Post by jeannerené » Sat Mar 01, 2014 10:57 am

I've always like the Villanelle and the challenge to repeat lines and make them work with each verse.

Nice Bags ... a very comtemplative write that works well in Villanelle form.

~jeanne
... and his words purge up and outward,
expelled and onward through desert dust swallowed,
sands he says that gorge on simple sensibilities.
And, now he spits fragments, grit, extended vowels and elongated syllables
over cracked lips. Their sounds fall
piling round his boots…
~ jeannerené

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~breathe~


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bags123
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Re: Oral Tradition (A Villanelle)

Post by bags123 » Sun Mar 02, 2014 8:28 am

Thanks Jeanne,...appreciate you stopping by and commenting. Always nice to hear from an old friend. :cheers:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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bags123
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Re: Personal Progress (A Villanelle)

Post by bags123 » Sun Mar 09, 2014 8:03 am

I changed a few things here and there from the original,...among those, the title, which I think is more appropriate. Maybe. (Previously posted as "Oral Tradition"
I'm not sure why I chose that title originally,....since the poem has nothing whatsoever to do with it.) :cheers:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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March 2011

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bags123
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Re: Personal Progress (A Villanelle)

Post by bags123 » Tue Mar 18, 2014 7:49 am

:bump: Sorry for the bump (not really),...but I almost completely revised this one again today. Makes alot more sense than the original I think,...but I'm still not 100% happy with it. May come back to it again.
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

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midnight_kitty_kat
Clearwater Poet
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Re: Personal Progress (A Villanelle)

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Sat Aug 30, 2014 5:27 am

I enjoyed this poem so much I shared it with my six year old step son who loved it as well.

In fact all day long he kept me updated on the progress of his own growing dreams. :grin:

Very nice.
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

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heinzs
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Re: Personal Progress (A Villanelle)

Post by heinzs » Sat Aug 30, 2014 10:49 am

Perhaps your son might become a poet, like his mom... :cool:

Thank you for posting, Kitty. The villanelle is a powerful form and Bags does them very well.
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midnight_kitty_kat
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Re: Personal Progress (A Villanelle)

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Tue Sep 23, 2014 11:38 pm

That would be wonderful. There is an author in him for sure. He loves writing and illustrating his own stories. Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokemon are popular subjects haha. It's too cute.

Being a step-mom is pretty much the best thing ever :mrgreen:
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

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negatvone
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Re: Personal Progress (A Villanelle)

Post by negatvone » Thu Jun 18, 2015 4:07 am

Your meter is spot on. Gerry, You the man. :bow: :bow:
Entering the sanctuary of my mind may lead to perils of unknown magnitude.......... hold on and embrace the ride. Feel the tolls as we pass from existance into my sought domain of twisted reality. -negatv: 5/05-

If I changed anything I have done in my life I wouldn't be me. Personally, I kinda like me. I'm an asshole, but I'm my kind of asshole.

Friends are what help me guide myself through life. I just have to find the right direction first. -negatv- 10/06

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bags123
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Re: Personal Progress (A Villanelle)

Post by bags123 » Thu Jun 18, 2015 5:09 am

:thewave:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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