Sonnet 20 - Breaking Free

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mdmorash
Clearwater Poet
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Sonnet 20 - Breaking Free

Post by mdmorash » Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:41 pm

For is your sweetness born of strife and pain?
A bleeding wound brought forth by razor lips.
Like oceans drowning 'neath the heaven's rain,
Your soul, it now upon these shadows sips?
But do those shadows quench that burning thirst?
Or does it, like a lonely dune, persist?
And empty rooms may close upon you cursed,
But soon the light will burn away the mist.
For in you burn the flames of love's unrest,
The burning pyres releasing you to dream.
Don't let lies sleep heavy upon your breast,
When breaking through is easy as a scream.
So scream upon the breaking of the day,
And drop your chains and let them fall away.

© 2009
Michael David Morash
All rights reserved
Last edited by mdmorash on Sat Apr 07, 2012 5:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees.
-- William Shakespeare
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heinzs
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Re: Sonnet 20 - Untitled

Post by heinzs » Sat Dec 12, 2009 2:35 pm

"For in you burns the flames of loves unrest" should be either "burn the flames" or "burns the flame". Also need an apostrophe for "loves" as in "love's".

I love Shakespearean sonnets...


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mdmorash
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Location: California, wishing I was back in Canada

Re: Sonnet 20 - Untitled

Post by mdmorash » Sat Dec 12, 2009 4:21 pm

As always, thank you Heinzs...I completely missed those two errors.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees.
-- William Shakespeare
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poeticpiers
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Re: Sonnet 20 - Untitled

Post by poeticpiers » Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:14 am

Surely this deserves a title my friend
May I suggest Break Free
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