Forgiveness: An Ass Biter

Forum to feature the younger poets. There is some amazing talent here!

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Kamasui
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 5:28 pm
Location: Virginia

Forgiveness: An Ass Biter

Post by Kamasui » Thu Jan 28, 2010 6:47 pm

You've got a hook in my mouth.
Your the last tie I have to break,
To seal my past in a safe.
I'll find new friends,
Maybe just like you.
I summon my last bit of strength for forgiveness,
To forgive all that has happened,
At the expense of self-loatheing.
I put this pain onto myself,
To secure my future,
So I can get out of this hole I've already dug six feet too deep.
I tear the hook from my mouth,
I'm almost out of the hole,
Then i forgive myself instead of you.
Now im in a hole sixteen feet deep,
And realize theres shackles on my ankles,
....Fuck...

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gordy
Windfall Prophet
Posts: 1463
Joined: Thu Apr 18, 2002 12:01 am
Location: HAMILTON OHIO

Re: Forgiveness: An Ass Biter

Post by gordy » Fri Jan 29, 2010 6:28 am

i love this the title is awesome, the hook visual is excellent and the ending is perfect.....great job! :thumbsup: :bow:
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Image

My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?

---Todd Agnew


Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword

---Gordy

Kamasui
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 5:28 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: Forgiveness: An Ass Biter

Post by Kamasui » Sat Jan 30, 2010 8:03 am

Haha thank you very much. Comments are always appriciated! I felt like as i was writing this up, there was a sort of comical tone to it. Funny how things turn out!

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xmartinx=]
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 103
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:29 am
Location: London

Re: Forgiveness: An Ass Biter

Post by xmartinx=] » Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:05 am

really love the use of the hook as the restraint and the ending is great as it finishes it perfectly. well played and keep writing =]
thanks for reading!!! =] " ill never strafe, ill never wonder, all absence does is make the heart grow fonder "

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