Black, as to smite the angels that appear henceforth
Truth submerged in a puddle of repressed colors
Quaintly slumbering until the words are echoed forth
Men pound the drums that pump the blood star
Shattering the fragments, searing the soul
Very sloppy poem i made in spanish because i was bored...check it out something about it makes me feel like its good haha.
Lies Become Reality- Poem
- heinzs
- The Fat Cat
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Re: Lies Become Reality- Poem
Please append the Spanish version as a reply to this thread so we may compare the two.
Welcome to the PoetryPages!
Welcome to the PoetryPages!
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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Re: Lies Become Reality- Poem
There is no spanish version because i just made this poem two days ago. Its originally english, if they want it in spanish go translate it. I just want people to comment to see what they think of it.
Re: Lies Become Reality- Poem
lol.............you said you made in spanish so we thought you made it in spanish originally but you meant you made it while you were in "spanish class" right? lol
i kind of like the feel of it......not to sure of the meaning...what is a blood star?
overall i like it though
i kind of like the feel of it......not to sure of the meaning...what is a blood star?
overall i like it though
-----------------------------
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
- heinzs
- The Fat Cat
- Posts: 8419
- Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
- Tag line: Do no harm
- Location: Novato, CA
- Contact:
Re: Lies Become Reality- Poem
Sorry for the misunderstanding... lol.
Try dropping the first line... it seems to be superfluous. The rest of it is fairly cohesive.
Try dropping the first line... it seems to be superfluous. The rest of it is fairly cohesive.
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started
Re: Lies Become Reality- Poem
Well the blood star is your heart...this is really about if you tell a black lie that you hide away from everyone and then someone brings it up (the echoes) then your heart races and it feels like your heart is shattering pretty much haha i can understand where you misinterpreted the spanish thing though haha.
Re: Lies Become Reality- Poem
well i coulda figured that all out if i would have just connected the title to the poem but i didnt....lol....thanks for the explanation tho
-----------------------------
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
- heinzs
- The Fat Cat
- Posts: 8419
- Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
- Tag line: Do no harm
- Location: Novato, CA
- Contact:
Re: Lies Become Reality- Poem
Thank you for the explanation... yes, I do see where this is going now. I'm not sure how I would alter it so that it would be "clearer" or if you even want it to be. Sometimes the mystery is the best part of the poem.
Cheers!
Cheers!
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started
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