Negligence

Forum to feature the younger poets. There is some amazing talent here!

Post Reply
GoodRedRoad
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:41 pm
Location: Northern Virginia

Negligence

Post by GoodRedRoad » Sun Apr 13, 2008 6:22 pm

I kept trying to tell you that if we didn't feed her, she'd evaporate
into thin air! like a bowl of water left out for days.
Well, by Tuesday she stopped squirming,
and by Thursday she stopped calling out,
and little by little she left us.
You told me that the atmosphere would drink her up
and rain her back down to us in a couple of weeks,
but we're in the middle of a fucking drought.
You forgot to mention that.
"Physical love is unthinkable without violence."
Top
User avatar
heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8419
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:
Contact heinzs

Re: Negligence

Post by heinzs » Wed May 28, 2008 11:16 pm

strange one...

:shock:
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started
Top
User avatar
Sailor55
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 123
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2005 10:31 pm
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Contact:
Contact Sailor55

Re: Negligence

Post by Sailor55 » Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:11 am

I'm with Heinz on that. However, I'm a huge fan of 'strange'. Most entertaining, Red. - D :thumbsup:
An easy read is a hard write.
Top
Odd D
Seafoam Poet
Posts: 180
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2008 7:23 pm
Location: Wherever my mind chooses me to be.
Contact:
Contact Odd D

Re: Negligence

Post by Odd D » Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:19 pm

Very intriguing read, GRR. Crazy concepts are always the best, and this is no exception.

I enjoyed it very much.
"No one ultimately knows what they're saying anyway. Are we really making art? Art doesn't belong to us. It doesn't belong to people, it belongs to the universe. It comes FROM the universe. It comes THROUGH us. When I write something, I think I know what I'm saying, but I never pretend to know the full meaning of the words."
- Serj Tankian
Top
User avatar
Gingy
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 119
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2006 2:36 am
Location: Hull, England
Contact:
Contact Gingy

Re: Negligence

Post by Gingy » Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:43 am

quite aggressive in a way. Not really sure as to who/what 'she' is. Possibly you could elaborate on that? and sorry but :badword: hahah :P xx but as before a good write
People are going to see you, how they want to see you. Everyone is different and unique in their own way. But the people who love you and care about you, are whose opinions really matter.
Top
GoodRedRoad
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:41 pm
Location: Northern Virginia

Re: Negligence

Post by GoodRedRoad » Fri Jun 13, 2008 7:15 pm

thanks.
i know this one is kind of strange, but i'm glad you liked it anyway.
:D
"Physical love is unthinkable without violence."
Top
User avatar
JGarrison
Babbling Brook Poet
Posts: 363
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2005 6:00 pm
Location: Poulsbo, WA
Contact:
Contact JGarrison

Re: Negligence

Post by JGarrison » Tue Jun 17, 2008 9:10 pm

definately strange... but i honestly couldn't help laugh at the last line... interesting piece though :thumbsup:
“What’s in store for me in the direction I don’t take?”

-Jack Kerouac-
Top
User avatar
nrip4life
prophet poet
Posts: 260
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 11:20 am
Location: Inside the outside
Contact:
Contact nrip4life

Re: Negligence

Post by nrip4life » Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:59 am

metaphorically can speak volumes....interesting
Old too soon, smart too late....-anonymous

Image
Top
User avatar
psychotic pretender
Mistress of Shadows
Posts: 476
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:59 am
Location: wadley alabama
Contact:
Contact psychotic pretender

Re: Negligence

Post by psychotic pretender » Fri Mar 27, 2009 1:15 pm

oh, strange says it

but maybe since i liked it so much i will just call it unique instead :mrgreen:

great write, great read
/My first thought was, he lied in every word,
That hoary cripple, with malicious eye
....
......................................
...... And yet
Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set,
And blew. ``Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came.''

Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came

Robert Browning 1812-1889
Top
User avatar
Moushka
Blue Sea Poet
Posts: 544
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:48 pm
Tag line: Trusting God
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Contact:
Contact Moushka

Re: Negligence

Post by Moushka » Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:00 pm

Odd D wrote:Very intriguing read, GRR. Crazy concepts are always the best, and this is no exception.

I enjoyed it very much.
I agree.........'she' could mean so many different things.........'hope' for instance.........
Stuck on Number 2. Learning to begin.
1.Believe 2.Belong 3.Become
1.Awareness 2.Acceptance 3.Action
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Teen Spirit”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests