Gave you something so great,
& You tore it to pieces..
No I lay On the floor &
Cry…
But I make myself raise..
I am not die when You
Did as you did..
I was reborn..
To find the one that will
Be there..
Give what I need…
Hold me when I cry…
Not giving up on me…
….You made me learn
Something, also..
People are not
as they seem!
Thank you ,
This lesson shall stay
Always with me…
O by the way..
I need my heart
Back…
I got to put the
Pieces together..
So I may go on…
With My new life!
Gave you something great & you tore it to pieces
- pixie dust
- Clearwater Poet
- Posts: 89
- Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:27 am
- Location: Wadley,Alabama
Gave you something great & you tore it to pieces
Let the light god shin on you
-
- Seafoam Poet
- Posts: 180
- Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2008 7:23 pm
- Location: Wherever my mind chooses me to be.
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Re: Gave you something great & you tore it to pieces
Hello Pixie Dust.
I'm new here, so my opinion is probably not going to be received all that well, but I felt I would share all the same.
I really like the message in the poem, for one. Experiences like that are difficult, and after going through them one should learn to put it behind them and move on. Learn from your mistakes and such, right? Overall, it is a very good poem.
If I may make one constructive criticism, in all hopes that you will not take it personally, I did have one thing that struck me as a bit of a set back in the last few lines. "I got to put the pieces together.." This line seems a little bit cliche, but, again, not too bad.
Great poem, enjoyed reading it! Keep up the good work!
I'm new here, so my opinion is probably not going to be received all that well, but I felt I would share all the same.
I really like the message in the poem, for one. Experiences like that are difficult, and after going through them one should learn to put it behind them and move on. Learn from your mistakes and such, right? Overall, it is a very good poem.
If I may make one constructive criticism, in all hopes that you will not take it personally, I did have one thing that struck me as a bit of a set back in the last few lines. "I got to put the pieces together.." This line seems a little bit cliche, but, again, not too bad.
Great poem, enjoyed reading it! Keep up the good work!
- Serj Tankian
- pixie dust
- Clearwater Poet
- Posts: 89
- Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:27 am
- Location: Wadley,Alabama
Re: Gave you something great & you tore it to pieces
Thank you!I'm not upset!I'm glad that you pointed it out!Isn't this one of the reason we posted here!lol!You know what I'm saying?
Let the light god shin on you
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