Does he know ?

Forum to feature the younger poets. There is some amazing talent here!

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pixie dust
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 89
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:27 am
Location: Wadley,Alabama

Does he know ?

Post by pixie dust » Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:34 pm

Does he know I cry

These tears on the

on the inside…

& Fight to not to

Show them on the

Outside…

Does he even care If I

Die.

Like I am on the inside…

He said He loved me…

Was that even

True…. Or just

One of his lies..

Most my poems talk

Bout him…

Just like this one does…

Now I'm holding…

Day to…

Hoping & wondering Why I

Still even care. If he

Even thinks a single

Thought about me…

Maybe if he even worries,

Why would he…

Because…

Maybe….

He wants me

To be in pain..

So I sit & think…

Can I still do better….

Only God knows…

Not I..

So I will see…

What he has planned for me!
Let the light god shin on you

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heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8419
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
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Re: Does he know ?

Post by heinzs » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:05 pm

A heartfelt cry indeed. Read it over to yourself to check for a few redundancies where repetitions cause a stutter that isn't needed.

:thumbsup:
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pixie dust
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 89
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:27 am
Location: Wadley,Alabama

Re: Does he know ?

Post by pixie dust » Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:50 pm

Yeah..There maybe alot of errors...I was in tear as I wrote this..lol!
Thanks!!! :angel:
Let the light god shin on you

Black Star Shine
Demonic Grinning Poet
Posts: 481
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:20 pm
Tag line: You Haunt My Soul
Location: Pluto
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Re: Does he know ?

Post by Black Star Shine » Wed May 07, 2008 3:26 pm

i really like the poems of yours i've read! keep up the good work! i especially like the way you write, and how you tlak as ifits like your talking to your oun spirt, asking yourself quesitons... its awesome!

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pixie dust
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 89
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:27 am
Location: Wadley,Alabama

Re: Does he know ?

Post by pixie dust » Fri May 16, 2008 8:41 am

Thank you sooo much!
Lacey Jo
Let the light god shin on you

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