dread dreadfully.

[GoodRedRoad]

I can feel it-
the at
mospheric pres
sure
that's weighing me down
and anchoring
me to the floor,
to earth.
I can feel it in
my forehead and
in my cheeks
and my chest down to
my stomach
and my shins
and my ankles
and it's really
all too much.
I'm sick of
lying
down on
floors and
not
being able
to move any
thing but
my finger.
I want to fly.
I want my eyes
to be
less empty
to be less
hollow.
I want my legs
to
stop sh
aking
and my chest down to
my stomach.
my tongue is lazy in my mouth
and it might close the hole in my throat
but that's so unrealistic.
It's so realistic.
Did you know how who's pushing in my temples?
It makes me sle
epy.
It makes my pen weak
upon thi
s paper.
But I
heard
there's
sa
l
va
ti
on
in the clouds.
Will you take me there?
I want to fly.

[heinzs]

Word splitting can be effective, but there's a risk to it. In this case, I think the splitting of "thi...s" would be better on the word "wea...k".

[GoodRedRoad]

thanks a bunch. i never really think about that kind of stuff, so it's good to hear comments like that.

[Queen]

contrary to what heinz said, i thought it all fit very well spliting "this" gave me the feeling of slowing down and getting drowsy it made me draw out the ssssss. keep up the good work stay imaginative and creative and fresh. and absorb critique however you see fit