Change in Time

[silhouette's song]

Change in Time

Finding out he was the wrong one,
And seeing the "right" in the other,
Breaking the bond with him,
And loosing the chance with another,

He caused the sun to set,
And the shadows to grow so great.
The last grain of sand fell for the second,
As I reached out...to late.

The feeling of loss,
Dragging the heart down deep,
Creates a large void,
To wide...to steep.

Masking the bruses,
And fear of my own,
The click of a lock,
The key so far away thrown.

With God, faith strong,
Soon I hope to see,
The shinning light, the end result,
And whats become of me.

~Silhouette

[silhouette's song]

[heinzs]

I like where you've gone with this. I'll tender my "suggestion" for a possible way to rewrite and some spelling corrections along the way. Feel free to use or ignore... it's just my opinion and it is YOUR poem.



Finding out he was the wrong one,
Seeing the "right" in the other,
Breaking the bond
And losing the chance with another...

He caused the sun to set,
And the shadows to grow great.
The last grain of sand fell
The second I reached out...to late.

The feeling of loss,
Dragging the heart down deep,
Creating a void
Too wide...too steep.

Masking the bruises,
And fear of my own,
The click of a lock,
The key far away thrown.

With God, faith strong,
Soon I hope to see,
The shining light, the end result,
And what's become of me.

[silhouette's song]

Thanks a buch, Heinzs! Its written the way it is due to the things that were in my life about half a year ago. But agian, thanks for the comment!

[heinzs]

[nrip4life]

i liked alot.....

[poetgirl122]

great poem, i liked the message

[leapster]

this is a really awesome....I love it awesome job keep it up

[heartstrong]

Loved it, especially the last stanza. Well written, great tempo. If I may add a tiny suggestion . . . wouldn't you rather say "too late" instead of "to late"?