Truth

beautifullyburnt · Post by **beautifullyburnt** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 4:05 am

When your eyes look into mine,
Are they then your golden rhyme?

When your thoughts become his,
Will I have no more to give?

What do you see?
I'm lost in misery.

And my pulse begins to race,
As I look upon your smiling face.

From all the pain that burns inside
I cannot run, I cannot hide.

I cannot live a life like this,
Go
No more
You're now his.

Friend_forever · Post by **Friend_forever** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:20 am

very nice... enjoyed the first stanza and the way it rhymes... well... sometimes it is better to let go...

ninian · Post by **ninian** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:52 am

nice use of rhyme and meter, i like how your lines get shorter toward the end, and the feeling of loss and ... not "giving up" but more like resigning oneself...comes in with the final stanza

well done!

(and welcome to the ppages!)

Ninian

TheMillionHope · Post by **TheMillionHope** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:26 pm

i feel your pain :( i wish things don't ever have to happen this way, but it is the sadness that will always be the other side of happiness, without it there would be no happiness at all, once again, nice write

Topics I've started · Post by **heinzs** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 1:14 pm

bren · Post by **bren** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 5:52 pm

like the milliong hope, i feel you pain too, but i loved the poem that much more because i could really relate to it, i also really enjoyed the use of rhyme. it was incredible

Hiyu · Post by **Hiyu** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:07 am

what a coincindence...

just picked a poem to read, and it just popped to my mind that i must read this poem...

and

KABOOM!!!

it just... summed up what i'm feeling right now...

how ironic that this sad piece makes me happy... but happy for what?

beautifullyburnt · Post by **beautifullyburnt** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:08 pm

Thank you all!
Such warm praise, and for one of my lesser poems.

Thanks again for your kind words.

BB

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