Poetry Pages


Welcome to the Poetry Pages.

Heavy before the wind

Forum to feature the younger poets. There is some amazing talent here!

Moderators: Debbie, Friend_forever

Heavy before the wind

Postby thedevote » Sun Jul 25, 2010 7:57 pm

:critique:

Strangely viscid
-below the clouds.
We lurk our young
-within the shadows.
Night vanishes
-as daemons scatter.
So murk behind the fire
-they elude endlessly.
You entice those who betray
-an icon of the flock.
For reach alone cannot save
-a devil left behind.
You breed our iniquities
-where is penalty?
Alas life shall leave
-smother your hope.
Out of control
-a broken promise.
How many times
-must they see.
My likeness
-lacking inability
Look for love
-misfortune is wealth
And find a lad
-talking to only himself
thedevote
Clearwater Poet
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2010 7:49 pm

Re: Heavy before the wind

Postby heinzs » Wed Jul 28, 2010 12:05 am

Interesting use of changing voice in this piece. I like the juxtapositions, sometimes clashing, sometimes not.

Welcome to the Pages, devote`!! :hello:
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started
User avatar
heinzs
The Fat Cat
 
Posts: 19229
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 4:01 am
Location: Novato, CA

Re: Heavy before the wind

Postby xmartinx=] » Sun Aug 01, 2010 5:34 pm

wow im totally oblivious to the meaning if there is one and i havnt been able to say that for a long time, enlighten me if possible =]
thanks for reading!!! =] " ill never strafe, ill never wonder, all absence does is make the heart grow fonder "
User avatar
xmartinx=]
Clearwater Poet
 
Posts: 86
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:29 am


Return to Teen Spirit

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests