deja vu

[nekot]

silenced
pen paralyzed
murdered muse

wishing
it were a dream

and I'd awake
tomorrow
to discover it
untrue

august 10, 2010
~here~

[Jadynara]

She's not murdered Carol, she's just sleeping.... a very very deep slumber. It happens sometimes... with bears.... and muses. Don't worry. Keep reading! You will find a way to rouse her. I only hope you aren't like me and have to either be so happy it seems unreal or completely torn down and broken before she decides to open her beautiful eyes and grace you with her state of consciouness.

Nic

[nekot]

Thanks Nic!

Yah, she isn't murdered. It just felt (still feeling) that way, due to someone of *authority* taking the machete of accusation and criticism (someone who I thought was a friend) and wielding it, slashing some of the deepest parts of me, and then cutting off any communication and thus possible reconciliation. Thus, the god-damned silencing effect. (And I think if there is a god of clarity and love, that s/he/it would damn silencing.)

I despise silencing, and that I still allow it (at times) to subdue me. I hope to one day genuinely break those bonds.

Thanks for the encouragement!!!!



~carol