Insomnia

[partialpoet]

Feeling darker than the bedroom that is haunted by the thought
That I’m betraying all that matters in pursuit of what does not;
Counting shadows on the ceiling that are cast there by the rain,
As I lay sleepless in the knowledge that I don’t intend to change.

[Mightfall]

Feeling darker than the bedroom that is haunted by the thought
That I’m betraying all that matters in pursuit of what does not;
Counting shadows on the ceiling that are cast there by the rain,
As I lay sleepless in the knowledge that I don’t intend to change.

I like the feel and the flow

"Counting shadows on the ceiling that are cast there by the rain"

could be a different visual, I couldn't connect this one in my mind to any image or feeling. But that could always be just me, some random reader :)

[partialpoet]

you're right, it's supposed to be rain on the window--some small outside light casting shadows on the ceiling--but that isn't effectively expressed.