Days of Contention

[gordy]

Days of Contention


Sometimes I’m left so very befuddled
Questions and answers both seem so muddled
Tears of rivers form filthy stagnant puddles
During the days (and the nights) of contention

Other times I’m so deeply dejected
Thoughts of regrets not left rejected
Fears like rivers congeal as dread’s collected
Poring through pains and frights I can’t mention

Still there are times I’m baffled and bewildered
Answers I question and thoughts unfiltered
Leave me reeling, off kilter feeling pilfered
During the days (and the nights) of contention

[bags123]

An abrupt departure for you in this one G-man. I didn't think you had any contentions in life. I hate contentions,....they're so bothersome. Here's hoping they dispurse for you and the fam in 2011.

[gordy]

yeah , a rarity for me for sure...........so whatdya think is it any good? as i usually do , i started out strong and then couldnt figure out how to finish it and just hurried up in the end........does it show or ???

[bags123]

yeah , a rarity for me for sure...........so whatdya think is it any good? as i usually do , i started out strong and then couldnt figure out how to finish it and just hurried up in the end........does it show or ???

Honestly,....it could use a little work on the meter. Also "befuddled" is kind of a tuff word to use to rhyme with,...muddled, puddled,....just sound too forced
and artificial. You've got a good framework here IMHO,...but you need better building materials. I'd play around with the meter, message, and rhyme scheme a bit more to see if you can get a better groove going.

[gordy]