Poetry Pages

The role of man’s to persevere even when the going’s rough
To be sincere while hiding fears, and denying all their lusts
There are times when men may interfere, but usually it’s a bluff,
Attributed to foul moods, or when they’re acting tough.

The role of man’s to labor hard, and to earn his daily bread
So that when it’s time they pass along what’s left when they fall dead
It’s rare that they’ll complain at all, or speak what’s in their heads
As long a they have beer to drink, ..get laid,… and stay well fed

there is only one line in here that i would change and only to make it read a little more smoothly and match s with what i found to be the cadence of the piece.

'there are times when men might interfere, but usually it's a bluff'
(forgive me i am posting from my playstation right now and cant copy quotes)

there are times where men may interfere, but it's usually a bluff...the line this way flows better for me. the message of the piece itself is good. i like it.

Jady

Thank you Jady,....appreciate you taking the time to comment. The more I read it,...the more I agree with you. I'll change might to may. Appreciate you pointing it out.

As long a they have beer to drink, ..get fucked,… and stay well fed

must be something more they need. My husband complains constantly.
Could be his age I guess. He's complaning two hours after sex...maybe he forgets he got laid today.
dunno
I dont see this as a work in progress its done.

crocbait wrote:

As long a they have beer to drink, ..get fucked,… and stay well fed

must be something more they need. My husband complains constantly.
Could be his age I guess. He's complaning two hours after sex...maybe he forgets he got laid today.
dunno
I dont see this as a work in progress its done.

The poem, or your husband?