Page 1 of 1

unknown prayer

Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:27 am
by wadley gurl
flashes in the night disappear like a blink of an eye.
words once spoken now held dear in a dying soul.
not a sound is made now as he lays on the cold unforgiven ground.
images of a little blonde with pigtail curls running after him
crying.a tear rolls off his cheek in a silent outburst of realization comes to mind that everyone will mourn over him.some will lose their sanity upon losing a friend...a brother....a husband.
with every ounce of his last strength,he prayed a silent prayer that his death will be avenged.

Re: unknown prayer

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:24 pm
by Jimi
Hi wadley gurl

Just a couple of small points. In line three, you mention the "unforgiven ground". Do you actually mean that the ground has not been forgiven or that it is unforgiving?

Secondly, in line 5 the formatting disapears. Is this intentional? If so, I'd be interested to know why you chose to lay it out this way.

Thanks for the read and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Kind regards


Re: unknown prayer

Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 11:01 am
by wadley gurl
well i meant that the ground no longer is safe like it betrayed the body by taking it in you get what i'm saying?
ty i'll be looking forward to reading yours too :hello:

Re: unknown prayer

Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:36 pm
by Mightfall
spoiled ground ?
blighted ground ?

I like where you're going, but that does stick out.

Thanks for sharing.