Andante

Come on in to give and receive critique, suggestions or help with work in progress or finished pieces. Any format welcome.

Moderator: bags123

Post Reply
User avatar
heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8402
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Andante

Post by heinzs » Sat Dec 29, 2007 2:43 pm

Andante

Left foot
right foot
keep up the pace
walk the walk
join the race
talk the talk
in your face.

In distress
no finesse
today's attitude
without fear
strikes me rude
all I hear
"What's up, Dude?"

Why is this?
What's amiss?
In this nation
white and black
the relation
is the lack
of education.
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

User avatar
bags123
Insufferable Crouton
Posts: 4701
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2002 12:01 am
Location: Upstate

Re: Andante

Post by bags123 » Fri Jan 04, 2008 6:52 am

Great "truth" poem Heinz. "Ignorance is bliss" apparently. I have never seen so many blank faces in a single generation in my life before. Unfortunatly with the current state of our Public Educational system,...I only anticipate the problem getting worse before it begins to get better again. What are your thoughts? :book: :cheers:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

User avatar
bags123
Insufferable Crouton
Posts: 4701
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2002 12:01 am
Location: Upstate

Re: Andante

Post by bags123 » Fri Jan 04, 2008 6:53 am

Of course both of us will be long dead and buried by then. :wink:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

User avatar
heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8402
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Re: Andante

Post by heinzs » Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:46 pm

I hate to have to agree with you on this particular point...
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

User avatar
Graeme
Seafoam Poet
Posts: 267
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 12:56 pm
Location: Arizona

Re: Andante

Post by Graeme » Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:58 pm

Obviously I don't agree with the assessment of education. But I think your poem is great, Heinz; I wouldn't change anything.
This above all to thine own self be true.

Image

snorple
Seafoam Poet
Posts: 157
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:30 am

Re: Andante

Post by snorple » Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:22 am

Education has been dumbing down for the past 40 years, why? I'm not entirely sure but it is gaining pace.

In the UK an ONC in Mechanical Engineering 1963 vintage would equate with 1st year hons degree in engineering now. Some university's don't even cover thermal dynamics or heat engines any more, magagement had replced the heat engines part. For Americans an ONC would have been equivilent to an entrance level for university 40 years ago.

But in English I think the standard is improving, maybe more people are taking up English. The sciences may be dumbing down but other subjects are thriveing, it seems.

When you think two hundred years ago most people could not read fluently, there must be seen to be some advances in some areas.

snorps

User avatar
heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8402
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Re: Andante

Post by heinzs » Sun Jun 06, 2010 12:02 pm

:bump:
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

mjarabrab
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 32
Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2005 11:10 am

Re: Andante

Post by mjarabrab » Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:52 pm

I see a lot of very old poems being brought up for more attention, not sure why, but this one is a very simple, easy to read, but a very narrow view and generalization of the world as a whole. I think the "forest through the trees" mindset could be a thought here, as for the view of the writer, may be the very essense of the problems we have in this world today, which is to generalize our own view and to pre umpt them as belonging to others. I understand poetry is a very personal thing, but when it becomes rather dicated , it becomes not a creative piece, but just anothers view,
So, this is not at all creative, but just a long piece of sad negativity which only exists in the writer. As a piece of poetry, I respect the opion of the writer, but I would not highly regard this as something I would hold as creative or artistic.
take care
Mj

Post Reply

Return to “Workshop/Critiques Wanted”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests