Death Rolls In . . .

[Graeme]

Thank you, Snarple, for your thoughtful reply. I have copied your comments and will go through them item by item.

Thank you for your comments, Bee Jay, I have also copied them for further analysis of my poem.

I can't tell you know much I appreciate each of you taking your time to help me with this poem.

[Mightfall]

Nice work poets, I'm gonna take a chance and just type something in...since we have a theme here.

You’re trapped

You’re trapped aren’t you
Death is a sly thief
Death has stolen from you
The opportunity to save
The hopes that have died
The loves that have died
Your friends in the war
(with themselves but still)
Your dead eyes that cry
Cold tears you can't feel

Your self respect wilted
and died quickly didn’t it
when you declared defeat
alone in your apartment
on the bare and lonely
gouged hardwood floor with
the thermostat at 65
and you trying to keep warm
with the cold stiff tatters of
the cat’s favorite quilt

and now you thrash blindly
yelling in the guise of a
calm voice like that used
by the most intelligent
trying to become what
you fear to be even more
than dead and in the ground

Alive