The Politics of Poetry

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MJPease
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Post by MJPease » Sun May 08, 2005 6:02 pm

Last I heard Jim was bringing the beans and Gillian was bringing the fruitcake. You and I were chipping in for the Rum.
Take me back, so far back, adjust this fate. Afeared lately of pen, in abscence of light. The fear I might stumble upon a plagiarized soul. Wipe this dark slate clean, regain my thought. Add the words that rekindle my depth of soul.

From: Summers Discontent 7-24-02

Sincerely

Michael J Pease

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negatvone
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Post by negatvone » Sun May 08, 2005 6:05 pm

Just give me a damn shot. I got the beans.
Entering the sanctuary of my mind may lead to perils of unknown magnitude.......... hold on and embrace the ride. Feel the tolls as we pass from existance into my sought domain of twisted reality. -negatv: 5/05-

If I changed anything I have done in my life I wouldn't be me. Personally, I kinda like me. I'm an asshole, but I'm my kind of asshole.

Friends are what help me guide myself through life. I just have to find the right direction first. -negatv- 10/06

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MJPease
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Post by MJPease » Sun May 08, 2005 6:08 pm

Ahoy Matey! ho ho ho and a bottle of rum. Is that Santa Claus.
Take me back, so far back, adjust this fate. Afeared lately of pen, in abscence of light. The fear I might stumble upon a plagiarized soul. Wipe this dark slate clean, regain my thought. Add the words that rekindle my depth of soul.

From: Summers Discontent 7-24-02

Sincerely

Michael J Pease

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bags123
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Post by bags123 » Fri Feb 03, 2006 11:24 am

I still haven't gotten any beans,... and I've been waiting very patiently.

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ninian
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Post by ninian » Sun Feb 12, 2006 2:36 pm

no beans but if you're still wanting critique i'll have a skeg later tonight...

nin
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

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bags123
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Post by bags123 » Sun Feb 12, 2006 6:04 pm

Please Nin,...have at it. I've only been waiting almost a year,... so when ever you have a spare minute or two will be fine. I think this one's so old we should actually schedule a colonoscopy for it. I'm having mine this coming Friday,... by the way. Just thought I'd throw that in indiscriminitly . :mrgreen:

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ninian
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Post by ninian » Sun Feb 12, 2006 7:58 pm

thanks for sharing ;)

reminds me have you ever seen comedian Dennis Wolfberg's stand-up routine about the colonoscopy?
Last edited by ninian on Sun Feb 12, 2006 8:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

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ninian
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Re: The Politics of Poetry

Post by ninian » Sun Feb 12, 2006 8:50 pm

bags123 wrote:The Politics Of Poetry

The politics of poetry is read,
by critical assessment's tempered tongues
Sharp pens have written sonnets now and then,
to post here for approval yet again.

The politics of poetry is said,
by typing some endorsement on the web
Where poets leave a poem composed alone
In hopes of comments where they've left it shown.

A liberal poet reader may pretend
to praise the right wing meter of a friend
Writes accolades before his mouse hits send,
then wonders why such words always offend.

Conservatives who share poetic zeal
Are often know to pen Gospel appeals
From pulpits high above poet's ideals
Their verse is mostly dealing with last meals

And moderates can never find their voice
Perhaps their indecision is their choice.
(spelling correction in bold)

First, let me say I really like this poem!

Capitals & Punctuation...i've said it a few times here, but i'll say it again :) in modern poetry, even metered and rhymed poetry, using an initial capital at the start of each new line is considered archaic. Capitals should be reserved for proper names and the first word after a full stop - basic sentence structure. Of course, you could be wanting an archaic feel to your poem, in which case, leave it ;) I noticed though, that you don't consistently capitalise each line, so it made me wonder if you had in some instances left out a full stop where there is a line break?

eg: The politics of poetry is read,
by critical assessment's tempered tongues should there be a full stop here?
Sharp pens have written sonnets now and then,
to post here for approval yet again.

Meter: Your meter is bang on! Nigh on perfect iambic pentameter! My only nit to pick is the lines 3 & 4 of stanza 2 :
Where poets leave a poem composed alone
In hopes of comments where they've left it shown.
the meaning here is a bit unclear. No, that's not it, I know you're referring to posting poems on a poetry forum for comments, but the lines feel awkward, despite their good meter. Perhaps some punctuation would help?

Rhyme: your poem is inconsistent in the rhyme scheme. You have used this scheme: abcc adcc eeee ffff gg Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with your rhyme scheme, it's just that with such a strong iambic pentameter in the lines, a stronger rhyme scheme "feels" right. Some schemes that work well with iambic pentameter are abba abba cdecde or abab cdcd efef gg or even rhyming couplets.

I think you have a very strong poem here, bags, and it really isn't in need of much tweaking...

Ninian
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

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bags123
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Post by bags123 » Mon Feb 13, 2006 7:25 am

Thanks Nin,.... excellent suggestions. I'm going to rework this one a little over the course of the week, and repost it here if you wouldn't mind taking a second look when it's complete. :bow:

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bags123
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Re: The Politics of Poetry

Post by bags123 » Tue Dec 09, 2014 2:51 pm

An oldie but an oldie. :mrgreen:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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