Benjamin (rewrite)

[heinzs]

This is a rewrite and reposting of a piece I wrote on the 24th anniversary of my 17 months old son's death by drowning in our backyard pool. The last 5 years have not been any easier than the first 24 were.

Benjamin

Thirty years ago
your brown eyes opened on this world
and arms reached towards mine
to clutch a piece of my heart
to keep forever.
I know you hold it still
for I can feel its beats
next to those of your siblings
and your sweet mother...
pieces of my heart
beating together as one
sustaining my life.
I live through all of you...
I am nothing by myself
but a quivering empty shell
devoid of spirit.
An angel holds you in its arms
making sure I can feel
that piece of my heart
beating
waiting for reunion
when I shall once again be whole
and our arms entwine.

(rewrite 2011.06.15 heinzs)

[bags123]

Losing a child is by far the worst thing that can happen in life. We both know that. One can continue on,...immersing ourselves in the comings, and goings of
life out of necessity,...but like you, there are moments of reflection about our loss (no matter how much time has passed) that can still bring me to tears. I've never met you personally Heinz,...but I imagine you're much the same. "Time they say heals all wounds",...but only puts a band aid on for the loss of a child.

[heinzs]

You are correct, my friend. This is a wound that time cannot heal. We can only learn to live with it, in spite of it, like an amputee. The smallest event, sound, smell, sight can bring the whole house of cards crashing down and you once again descend into that dark hole of despair. I don't spend as many days there as I used to each year, but there are still enough of them. I have always known we were kindred spirits, Gerry, spiritual brothers.

Cheers to you. Céad míle fáilte.

[bags123]

I feel that too my friend. Slán agus beannacht leat

[moonflower]

what a beautiful, touching tribute this is..it truly brought tears to my eyes..i believe that losing a child is the worst thing that can ever happen to a person and i agree with what you said..we can only learn to live with it, like we would learn to live if we suddenly went blind or something..i dont think we can ever accept it tho..
this is a beautiful, beautiful piece heinzs..*hugs*