Rest in Peace Santa
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- Phoenix J. Star
- Rock Star Jenni
- Posts: 473
- Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2002 12:01 am
- Location: With Alice and the Cheshire Cat in Wonderland
Rest in Peace Santa
Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring,
except for the neighbor's dog
who wouldn't stop barking.
The childrens was all tucked
into bed in hopes that St. Nicholas
would soon there to bring them toys because
Mommy and Daddy work minimum wage
jobs and have lots of bills to pay and
they knew they wasn't getting shit from them.
Daddy was passed out,
slumped over the easy chair,
a bottle of Jack hanging from his
hand and the cat licking
Cheetos from his hair.
Momma was in the bathtub,
cucumbers over her eyes,
trying to relax, but much to
her suprise...
Atop the roof she her a loud THUMP!
Her first thought was Uncle Mavis
on the roof trying to shoot at
the neighbors because he thinks
that they are conspiring to steal
his Boxcar Willy Vinyl set.
Again came the THUMP so
out of the tub momma jumped.
She threw on a towel and ran out
the door only to discover a
big dead fat guy on the living room floor.
There was daddy,
shotgun in hand and a
gleam in his eye,
"I killed me a burgler baby"
He said as he slapped his thigh.
Oh Momma was pissed,
you could tell by her look,
so she hit daddy over the
head with a big,huge,red book.
"You just shot Santa Claus
you big tub of lard.
Now you have to take and burry
his fat ass in the yard."
So Daddy and Uncle Mavis
drug Santa with the most utter care,
to burry him in the yard in hopes
the town sherrif would
soon not be there.
But when all was said and done
Christmas was not that bad,
all my friends at school were
jealous off all the toys I now had.
"We didn't get squat from Santa
this year, I wonder what happend,
or if it was the reindeer?"
All the kids were curious,
but only Momma, Daddy,
Uncle Mavis and I knew the truth,
and Daddy told me if I spoke a
word he'd yank out a tooth
for every year he was in prison.
and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring,
except for the neighbor's dog
who wouldn't stop barking.
The childrens was all tucked
into bed in hopes that St. Nicholas
would soon there to bring them toys because
Mommy and Daddy work minimum wage
jobs and have lots of bills to pay and
they knew they wasn't getting shit from them.
Daddy was passed out,
slumped over the easy chair,
a bottle of Jack hanging from his
hand and the cat licking
Cheetos from his hair.
Momma was in the bathtub,
cucumbers over her eyes,
trying to relax, but much to
her suprise...
Atop the roof she her a loud THUMP!
Her first thought was Uncle Mavis
on the roof trying to shoot at
the neighbors because he thinks
that they are conspiring to steal
his Boxcar Willy Vinyl set.
Again came the THUMP so
out of the tub momma jumped.
She threw on a towel and ran out
the door only to discover a
big dead fat guy on the living room floor.
There was daddy,
shotgun in hand and a
gleam in his eye,
"I killed me a burgler baby"
He said as he slapped his thigh.
Oh Momma was pissed,
you could tell by her look,
so she hit daddy over the
head with a big,huge,red book.
"You just shot Santa Claus
you big tub of lard.
Now you have to take and burry
his fat ass in the yard."
So Daddy and Uncle Mavis
drug Santa with the most utter care,
to burry him in the yard in hopes
the town sherrif would
soon not be there.
But when all was said and done
Christmas was not that bad,
all my friends at school were
jealous off all the toys I now had.
"We didn't get squat from Santa
this year, I wonder what happend,
or if it was the reindeer?"
All the kids were curious,
but only Momma, Daddy,
Uncle Mavis and I knew the truth,
and Daddy told me if I spoke a
word he'd yank out a tooth
for every year he was in prison.
"The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."
Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
- Phoenix J. Star
- Rock Star Jenni
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- Ven
- Forum Admin - and Closet Hippie
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- Contact:
HaHa ! I almost shot tea outta my nose too
.
"Forever is short thought when your skipping this close to the edge".
Ven's MYSPACE
___________________
Google this number; 1905363966
.
"Forever is short thought when your skipping this close to the edge".
Ven's MYSPACE
___________________
Google this number; 1905363966
.
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- Phoenix J. Star
- Rock Star Jenni
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- Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2002 12:01 am
- Location: With Alice and the Cheshire Cat in Wonderland
- Phoenix J. Star
- Rock Star Jenni
- Posts: 473
- Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2002 12:01 am
- Location: With Alice and the Cheshire Cat in Wonderland
Oh I thought the reason you bumped it was simply egotism.Phoenix J. Star wrote: I'm only bumping myself because its so close to Christmas
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart
Poet of the Month
March 2011
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart
Poet of the Month
March 2011
- Phoenix J. Star
- Rock Star Jenni
- Posts: 473
- Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2002 12:01 am
- Location: With Alice and the Cheshire Cat in Wonderland
bags123 wrote:Oh I thought the reason you bumped it was simply egotism.Phoenix J. Star wrote: I'm only bumping myself because its so close to Christmas
I just wanted to make sure everyone got a good laugh
"The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."
Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
Phoenix J. Star wrote:bags123 wrote:Oh I thought the reason you bumped it was simply egotism.Phoenix J. Star wrote: I'm only bumping myself because its so close to Christmas
I just wanted to make sure everyone got a good laugh
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart
Poet of the Month
March 2011
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart
Poet of the Month
March 2011
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