[row]<a href="#011">Cogitation</a>
<a href="#012">Even Death Leaves Me Behind</a>
<a href="#002">I Die Every Minute</a>
<a href="#007">Beneath It All</a>
<a href="#006">Comfort In A Dark Corner</a>
<a href="#002">I Die Every Minute</a>
<a href="#028">The Man In The Mirror</a>
<a href="#009">Egomaniacal Machination</a>
<a href="#013">Gouge Out My Eyes</a>
<a href="#016">Symbol Of My Life </a>
<a href="#017">The Phone Call (A Poetic Story) </a>
<a href="#018">Suicide And Subtle Comforts</a>
<a href="#019">Once Apon An Atrocity</a>
<a href="#020">Circles</a>
<a href="#022">Axiomatic Rendering</a>
<a href="#024">Ride The Lightning</a>
<a href="#025">Destine To Loose</a>
<a href="#027">Interval Of Agony</a>
<a href="#028">The Man In The Mirror</a>
[col]<a href="#029">Complete</a>
<a href="#021">Just Another Day</a>
[col]<a href="#003">A Sheep Amongst The Wolves</a>
<a href="#008">The Love Of A Mother</a>
[mrow color=indigo]Spiritual[mcol]Short Negatv Thoughts[mcol]Happy Poetry
<a href="#004">A Prayer For Hope</a>[/table]
<a href="#001">Impossibility Of Reason </a>
<a href="#002">I Die Every Minute</a>
<a href="#003">A Sheep Amongst The Wolves</a>
<a href="#004">A Prayer For Hope</a>
<a href="#005">Mental Rape</a>
<a href="#006">Comfort In A Dark Corner</a>
<a href="#007">Beneath It All</a>
<a href="#008">The Love Of A Mother</a>
<a href="#009">Egomaniacal Machination</a>
<a href="#010">Inner Conflict</a>
<a href="#011">Cogitation</a>
<a href="#012">Even Death Leaves Me Behind</a>
<a href="#013">Gouge Out My Eyes</a>
<a href="#014">My Last Breath</a>
<a href="#015">A Solemn Drink</a>
<a href="#016">Symbol Of My Life </a>
<a href="#017">The Phone Call (A Poetic Story) </a>
<a href="#018">Suicide And Subtle Comforts</a>
<a href="#019">Once Apon An Atrocity</a>
<a href="#020">Circles</a>
<a href="#021">Just Another Day</a>
<a href="#022">Axiomatic Rendering</a>
<a href="#023">Abdication </a>
<a href="#024">Ride The Lightning</a>
<a href="#025">Destine To Loose</a>
<a href="#026">Credulous Fact</a>
<a href="#027">Interval Of Agony</a>
<a href="#028">The Man In The Mirror</a>
<a href="#029">Complete</a>
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<a name="#001">Impossibility of Reason</a>
<center>Mirrors of torment surround the beckoning of a new day
Sleep is the only relief from the thrashing torment
Hold me; I’ll be waiting for the end of the movements in play
Cast your stones of want with your hands of cement
You know me all to well to hold my only desire
Sleep brings relief in the hope of a new day
Another moment left; another eternity
Your sorrow lies in your name plagued with memories
Comfort for someone else has been applauding at your door
Your deceit left to those whom hold no number of Actuaries
Destruction of innocence is in the wake of your path
What would I give; to hold the smile? The face of love
An eternity of pain would be less than this moment of agony
Stuck in this dissolution of misery I sit
Waking to the misery of being without you
When darkness falls the comfort of night holds fast
The slumber of my whole opens my eyes
I see the divine
This distance is in dissolution
The vapors hold the barrier true
Gasses of your disposition
Hold to my thought in a monstrous glue
Blackness surrounds the exterior of my domain
Shadows of hate shroud the interior of my soul
Solitude grasps the faded corners of my pain
Watch the numbered thoughts scroll</center>
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<a name="#002">I Die Every Minute</a>
My will must struggle forth in this horizon
Tortured thoughts take my whole into the abyss
All hopes my path has been not labeled bedizen
I would hate to taste the thing I would miss
Death is a friend with a smile
Grin on you bitch
May your face rot off in mid smile
Hold my pain
Your palm is not that wide
Suffocate under the pressure of my innards you hold
Breathe the trail of dust I leave you in such haste
Rot alive and savor the flavor
Death holds my hand in this time of need
You hold your own wants aside your hip
Hope you drown in all your unwanted greed
Hold your breath from ever crossing your lip
Die slow and savor the pain
Some of us die every minute of every day
Hold that thought and recollect
All you ever did was trash my mind in your play
Now is the time for the reaper to collect
I hope you choke on the ashes
Hold your tongue and let the past be the past
I’m passing with a clear conscious
Hope you loved life
I have nothing more to say.
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<a name="#003">A Sheep Amongst the Wolves</a>
Compromise is just another contradiction
Set in your soul; a pouring of the waters sent ahead
In your heart this seeks the repetition
Contradiction leaves the want for dead
There’s a place to be afraid and a chance to be portrayed
Look into your heart for the meaning that has been blinded
Shadows soak into the light of this offering
Unworldly desire set amongst the wolves to prey upon
Malicious and famished they devour my own words
Seeping want for hope does still creep on
Morsels of remains search for meaning of these blurs
Destiny strung high above; all I know is that you can realize
Scaring shadows of my past
Just another day left to the beckoning of a howl
A string of meat is the relish of my course
The wolves consuming into their bowel
This wicked surrender with none of its force
Wolves seek prey in dens
Home is where the enemy lies still
The field sought and again found empty
Hunting for the quench of the kill
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<a name="#004">A Prayer For Hope</a>
Shroud this pain into a blissful abyss
The soul is in my head
Rest my hand till the morning is coming down on me
I pray for nightfall to cast its charms of numbness
Grasp the thoughts and hold them till tame
I realize my own sacrifice
The concealment of a weapon has blackened my thought
Darkness is the lair that I hold so dear
Lord I’m on my way, don’t let me down
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<a name="#005">Mental Rape</a>
A train of thought enters me in never-ending succession
All this hate bottled inside and surely no repression
It pulls me down and spits me out sending in depression
At this instant I know now this rape is now in session
Ranting raves send me forth in a self destruction path
My hatred runs through my mind and I know its beckoned wrath
I could have stopped at any time to haste this weary voice
In the end all this pain was actually my own choice
I could have halted the preceding with abstinence; it’s true
But in the end all would fail and the outcome would pass through
Severely this damned event my memories it leaves asunder
On quick foot I hounded flight with my mighty thunder
Racing thoughts and weary thought my daemons now released
As they sway in their path liberated was my own beast
Then a glance upon my self distributed my remorse
All the bottled inside had sewn an empty corpse
I saw my life in retrospect for all the pain inside
Forever more I'll keep it pent in memories to reside
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<a name="#006">Comfort In A Dark Corner</a>
Soothe my worldly needs
I want to feel comfort for a change
One chance to close my eyes and hold darkness
Let me have a firm grasp and secure the ride
My tickets are old and in need of use
Wish I’d just disappear in mid stride
I will return; death shrugs me off in a constant
Never could hold someone close for long
My mind leaves me and sets a path so distant
They all leave at one time or another
Birth is the beginning of death
The first breath is the start of the journey for the last
Take hold of the moment and make of it what you can
I’ll make the most of anything I can at the moment
The sky bleeds tears of comfort
I soak them in to sustain life
Seek the shadows for my comfort
I shun all thoughts of light
I stand in the rain looking into the heavens
Lightning scorches my weary eyes
The burns take toll in groups of sevens
All wants for the pain suddenly dies
Shadows seep over my body and breathe my whole
In the darkness I’m free to bleed and have no remark
I can plunder the precious memories that you stole
And leave this world hastily on my embark
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<a name="#007">Beneath It All</a>
Destiny he says as he turns around.
Life shunned the most insignificant parts
Falling memories hit the ground
This demeaning feeling hits all our hearts
When the down hits we tend to grasp it
Emotion takes hold and it begins to warp
All we can see is the end of the ice burg at the tip
The ending is close and apparent for this corp.
Every step I take numbs my intentions in depth
Searching for emotions lost under the surface seem buoyant
Everything I thought I was is now inept
Your ever fibbing arms reach out so flagrant
I will never know myself
I get lost in the nothingness that is lost inside of me
All I have is negativity and no one can justify the way I feel
Simplistic wounds will never heal until I find myself true
The tension builds and I really want to heal
Death is an option left vacant and rekindled in my memory.
I just want somewhere I belong.
Nothing to gain and nothing lost
I’m hollow when I’m alone
Being empty causes a tempting cost
Emotions that seem like those of a clone
The tomorrow promised stretches my soul
I have nothing to gain and nothing that seams real
I need to find the pain I’ve felt so long
Somewhere I truly belong.
The need to break away from myself seems tangible and real
Nothing can break the emotions I feel
I’m just stuck hollow and alone
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<a name="#008">The Love Of A Mother</a>
Destiny…… can it be this hard
Try to relive what’s in your heart
The cannons fire without remorse on this bard
Freedom is left for an untimely depart
Sequenced shots from a firing squad shatter the silence
She walks on by, feeling into her soul
She walks alone
Love is in her heart
The past washed clean
Look into your heart
A message is left to be seen.
Blinded in the weaving of spoken lies
Voices cry for help to be shunned into the abyss
The will to live is sheltered; to fuel her unspoken cries
Torture movements of thought still persist
Squandering hope she so readily tucked away
Reaching deeply into barren pockets for reprieve
Lost is her emotion; she’s stuck for another day
Wandering hope still seeks her to believe
Everything seems so futile
Spare change found on the isolated bank of her soul
Simple pennies; a blessing so needed to ease the tension
Two cents to help fill a portion of this hole
Still, the loose change is gone without mention
Returning to the hole; in which her family now sits
She eases the famine with crumbs of her love
Still hungering for more than presented, the love still fits
Eager mouths consume the offering sent forth
The love of a mother can’t be measured in worth
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<a name="#009">Egomaniacal Machination</a>
Sometimes I need a thief to steal my nightmares
Sometimes I really just sit in disbelief
I want to heal but, my mind misconstrues all I see
Now all I have is negativity stuck in this battle in my mind
I look forward to the relief
I’m tired of being what they wanted me to be
Now I just want to be more like me and less like they want
I’m just caught in the undertow of this pain
All I want to be is what you want me to be
This journey has been such a strain
I’d rather beg my way out of this misery than bend the truth
Let me take back my life rather than hold my head up in shame
Tired of being what you want me to be
Forget my possibilities. I’m the one to blame
Just give me myself back
Memories open the bandage to scorch my wounds
There’s nowhere I belong in all of my tombs
I’ve got nothing to loose in this world this is for true
I would rather beg for my life than structure a reality for you
Seeing the worst part of you licks my inner most wants
This pressure must break away and erase the pain
The pipes are so deceiving and the thought of this daunts
Sit in the shade and hope for release
Demons are at the gates
Should I open the doors for ease?
This is left in the debates
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<a name="#010">Inner Conflict</a>
Her passions fire burns so bright upon this weary night
Lustful meaning longing for life to complete the venture true
Daemonic templates of lost desire pound her inner soul
Wicked memories suppressed in shadows; reap their weary toll
A single step out of hiding; light so brightly shown
Inside of her; her innards struggle to win this very fight
Turmoil of the moment has intervened in to this fight
Her hearts desire to love again will strive to see the night
So brilliantly the battle commences with such brutality shown
In the end; the hoards of memories hold her thoughts true
The rapture of the struggle shall charge her soul a toll
Before it’s over; she might as well just damn this very soul
Resistance forms against the feelings that place rapture on her soul
She stands with closed fist; her intention now to fight
On this night; she will be the one for whom the bell will toll
She beckons forth to seek the craved desire of this night
With torch in hand her path has been sent from lies into the true
Such beauty and valence is in the works to be lucidly shown
Searching in desire for the powers of the heart hidden, not shown
Enlightenment of her whole reaps the fruit upon her soul
This turmoil sent into her whole will stand true
She yearns for him; still, the will for him is left to fight
His descendant call wraps her whole in a blanket of night
A decadence of lies soon will take upon her body’s toll
Relentless battle within seeps into the casqued of its toll
She wants him to see the want and anguish to be shown
Still these thoughts are subdued into the blackness of night
Thoughts that is nothing more than tattered pages of her soul
She can not escape. She swallows her pride in this fight
This masquerade of hope; in depth, can vacantly be seen true
She rises in oppression with her head held straight and true
Emptiness of thought and the systematic bridges of toll
Wear upon her person in the inner layers of fight
In the end; her resilience will be the light shown
He will not rape and desecrate her lonesome soul
She will seclude these emotions into the comfort of night
The suppression will seek the true of her wicked night
The struggle will present on the toll of her soul
She will hide the fight that was shown.
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<a name="#011">Cogitation</a>
Tear this bleak reality from the vision that I see
of things that simply are and were never meant to be.
The insanity of realism begs me "hold my grip"
I turn my head to analyze and see my sanity slip
through scorching thoughts of yesterdays burning in my mind
where redemptions, burnt and ashen, are all I seem to find
Look into the eyes of a man pushed over the edge
See madness seeping in as we walk the narrowing ledge
Overstepped one, two, I laugh and take step three
Hitting my knees; I turn and see, damnation set for me
as torture screams of past events, inside I'm torn; I bleed
The possession of my body has been taken, truth indeed.
I look to the heavens and ask to end this torment’s cries
Feeling the scarring thoughts of my past I wander on
Searching my flesh for a release to all the lies
Ploys of attacks are sent for my humanity to have begun
Stop this pain, I beg. Watch me squirm in your grace
I know I’ll never have a stable place to play this damn race
Seeking retribution for all the sins I’ve committed seen as futile
Damned from birth to nomadically wander on this earth
Home lies in the abyss of my own doing and searching my own fate
Tearing at my skull for a reason the insanity stays
Still, the pain goes on in the swarming of sublime hate
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<a name="#012">Even Death Leaves Me Behind</a>
This brigade of thoughts intrudes into reality
What has happened? Why did this tear arise?
It was all sufficient, and then it went to purgatory
The mere shock brought the whole into surprise
My soul weeps for this closure, so dim and true
A thought of misleading all came to pass
My limbs grew heavy and mine thoughts misconstrue
Still, my heed I knew not to last
Attainments soon did contort to a withering decay
I was paralyzed from all movement, he was near
I knew this would all end on this very day
Deep inside my truth embraced this cheer
A solace so revered and waited upon
Blackening of the sight was upon my brow
The weight on my shoulders weighed a whole ton
This weight was changed to a lifting somehow
As I reflect I mourn on those in life
Souls raped as a commodity so easily dispensed
The pillage.. the hate... the strife
This torment was eased as this passing commenced
Then a breath, a scorned moment to be abhorred
Eyes open to another glimpse of light to be
Conformation was then in disgrace, detoured
For there was still life abandoned in me
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<a name="#013">Gouge Out My Eyes</a>
My lack of faith has a perfect perception of the unknown
Barbarians at the gates keep the keys of my mind in hold
If you could only see how the scornful anger has grown
You might take three steps back from the endeavoring cold
Demean my purpose as you sift through the sands of my life
Screams of solitude arise as the torment closes in
My mind quakes with the arising thought of oncoming strife
The game of madness shall surely now begin
Tremors of hatred shake the very ground I occupy
The pain takes hold for another moment to be forgiven
Minds play tricks on the unwinding audience to be seen
A pleasant folly of dementedness puts the point to be driven
Wash my hands and watch the blood come off clean
The ground starts to separate
Cataclysmic wants for sanity leave my mind with haste
The demons take a quick gathering and rush the gates
A solemn scream for reprieve has been suppressed
Solitude lies in the eyes of the beholder
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<a name="#014">My Last Breath</a>
I strive to hide in her shadow
Such simplistic thoughts I derive
My intentions to comfort her sorrow
Only help the pain to arrive
I try to show her, but she looks away
Her pride shuns the glimpse of thought
She rides the waves that collide
Waters of sorrow are all my emotion has brought
Please let this monsoon soon reside
I will love her forever and a day
All my heart I gave so freely to her
In her mind it’s a sacrifice of submission
Memories of the past seem just a blur
Seeking her acceptance is my mission
A shun is all I will contrive
A mission left now verboten
Hide these tears I’ve cried
The love I showed so easily forgotten
Inside my will has died
Still I need her to survive
Her presence allows a shallow breath
Breathing in all I can hold
Passage of her winds still sustain death
Holding this thought with intent so bold
My last breath will be for her
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<a name="#015">A Solemn Drink</a>
She pours another drink so she'll have company tonight
and contemplates the meaning of her life in such delight
The moment draws condensation of pleasured thoughts light
Her mind was dripping her every desire; no lust to fight
Her will is dead and in her remorse
company seeks last resource
chaperon is here and it seems bland.
Bleak it is; at last in demand.
What trials will it soon prevail to be seen by all
Her heart pounds a different obsession so true
She wants for bliss and all its destined fall
Her soul she perforates as if a meat on a skew
Thoughts of solitude rest upon her chest
She watched her beloved laid to his rest
A drink for him in wanted gathering
Not one thought of her mind's wicked spattering
Inebriation now sets in to follow the grief of love lost so dear.
Abandoned from love her thought does reside
Another drink and soon she will collide
One more she requests with desire
No more after this; or she will expire
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<a name="#016">Symbol Of My Life</a>
Hold my head for another moment to let the pain ease
Let my soul fly freely amongst the tribulations of the now
Awake this day to find another final rising of one to please
Crust captures the tears that I keep somehow
It’s deep in the mind
I seep into desire
I serve myself to sleep
Praise with chains
I accept this will I once regarded
Now it seems that changes must be made
Don’t mystify your love of torment
Leaves will change
I accept the will that is regarded
Terrify me and hold my life in your palm
A simple lie brings you down in an ordinary way
Freeze the chilling before the calm
I sit in the mist of the calm
The thrill that is so misguided
Changes have been made
Terrify me and please yourself with my pain
This is the symbol of my life
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<a name="#017">The Phone Call</a>
Interior walls collapse to reveal the view
Torments are made apparent to plain sight
Feelings arouse in the bleakness of the new
In the conversation of this blackened night
Hatred is steamed off lips of the kettle left to burn
Scornful statements breathe through her lips
Impedance of the needing memories left to learn
Leaves me to find the plight that was left in her grips
The game was called because of rain
Sincerities of my past draw me close
These awful tears drawn out of pain
The end of sanity looks at me so close
Imprisoned feeling take their place
Gathering in the lost, dreadful thoughts
Leaving me waiting for my disgrace
Of my grievous, worldly wants
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<a name="#018">Suicide And Subtle Comforts</a>
Looking into the mirror I realize it’s time
Glancing to my hand I see the instrument
Pondering how now everything is going be fine
Not knowing the actions dark implement
Structured self loathing dwells in the thought
While looking at the destruction I have bought
My head swells with agony streaming so pure
Within my sight I have the simplest cure
Retribution has come one day to late to douse this hell
Sick of feeding to the attention of the damned bell
Let me release the thoughts in my sickened, blackened head
I’m prepared to stick my needles in and see the world of the dead
Just one puncture away from rest and my children see the dollars
Comfort settles as my memories fade to a blur of pastel colors
Memories hold me entranced with the thought of the comfort
This perilous thought of suicide and other comforts to distort
The “lack of pain” holds my mind at ease for another moment
I am aware now that everything will be fine. One minute late; just as well
Now I can sigh again as the death relieves me of this torment
In silence I can surely seek my true place to dwell
Now it seems everyone will be fine with my absence known
I find comfort in my own version of sweet tormented hell.
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<a name="#019">Once Upon An Atrocity</a>
Sew me deeply my little drop
Seal my lips with this little crop
Finding the moisture I can relate
To all my thoughts left to reinstate
To kiss you once is to hold you an eternity
The fragrance you hold has captured the whole of me
Heaven sends me dreams of your fragrance, so light
Let me dwell in this delight
This memory haunts me for one more night
I kiss the petals to taste the dew of you
The taste has left me in thoughts, so true
I caress the pillow to find a sent
Searching for time well spent
Lost in thoughts, I find a familiar smell
Something for my memory to dwell
This rendition of living hell
Now I must just relive times that fell
Seeing the atrocity of my own doing, I reside
Haunting passions of my own pride
Hoping to catch a ride
On the river that my torment has cried.
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<center><a name="#020">Circles</a>
Lost in patience demeaning my own reasoning
My mind so tired, still trying to expire from reality
Cooking the torment in like a delicate seasoning
Gazing in on the systematic consistency of the brutality
Silently waiting for a moment of reprieve
Inside an empty hole that closes and ends up suffocating
I talk with my self and find out that I’m not debating
I see that in time all will fall
For death will soon call
Screaming to myself; I see it all that all will fall
Barricades hold the sanity for the time now
In the darkness of silence, mental ears hear it all
The whispers of insanity’s eternal vow
Another circle takes hold of the truth seen
This simple chance to wipe the slate clean
Heaven sends peace with you that tend to be the flame for me
It’s all a circle that we tend to make for ourselves with this plea
Granted sanctuary on another rendition of the revolution
We will make it out of this step by step as our eyes are set
Grasping tightly on this ride; searching for the solution
Finding the frailty of my own structure as smooth as the inner windings
Feeling the coarseness of the ride unfold into blurs of comprehension
Loosening my grip on reality and all of its bindings
Keeping the gyration in desperately needed retention
Another pass in this ecliptic leaves me pondering again
With this new found sense of zen</center>
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<center><a name="#021">Just Another Day</a>
Just another day that passes by
One more melody to swarm my heart
Rhythmic streams engulf my sky
Hoping your love will never depart
Just another day
I’ll never let this go
Grasping for the life I so desire
Just another day to share this sun
One more moment to hold you in my arms
With your absence my body lay in stun
Still, my body shudders in all your charms
Just another day to share the sky
Holding on so tightly, I grasp your light
I know that empty sands count on me
Sands of time that I so valiantly fight
Holding you forever is my destiny
When you are with me I feel so secure
Thoughts of your passing I must endure
Seeking your essence to fill this abyss
Drinking from your fountain so pure
In the end I must submit
Just another day to hold you close
A melody with pain left out
When you are gone I feel it
Angels sought you with a valiant scout
To keep me conscious, and in mind fit
Just another day you grace my presence
Longing for your lips to hold my captivity
Dripping sweat of your passions rain in its essence
Hoping my love is not perceived as serenity
Just another day we merge into one
Violent forces come crashing forth
Can we captivate this one more day?
For all it’s worth
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<a name="#022">Axiomatic Rendering</a>
Pretending to capture life for what it should be
I find myself
Looking on
Learning from others, repenting
On this new found dawn
This isn’t what I ever dreamed you would want from me
I never thought I’d have to run just to be
I stand, alone within a place for the dead, overcome by woe.
I've grown so fond of this dread that I swear its heaven’s righteous tow
Bless my steps in your eternal damnation for all to see
Kick me to the side and make them all believe
Sucked in the undertow of life’s grasp
I look for the means of my loss. A simple hasp
Something to release and let it flow
Release me into this undertow
Something has been taken deep from inside of me
A secret that no one was ever meant to ever see
Looking at this darkened sky
This is the day that all laughter
Died
So much have I tried
to bury her from my mind
Fate's tourniquet was tied, so her memory just died
Looking into this abyss, I see
We tend to be nothing more than a memory
I shun all that some day, might be
Harboring my pain as empathy
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<a name="#023"><center>Abdication</a>
Peering into oceans past
A gentle breeze across the mast
Captured wind into my sails
Knowing now that time prevails
Looking over the timeless space
As my hand caresses your face
Knowing that the feeling has met
In our own hearts we know our debt
The treasures we hold so close and dear
A simple world without the fear
Of loosing ourselves in discomposure
Flowing our hearts into closure
Gentile kisses of our eyes
Holding back so we both don’t cry
Keeping fast our thoughts; so dear
Reminiscing the times of cheer
Watching you as we depart
Holding you deep within my heart</center>
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<a name="#024">Ride The Lightning</a>
Feel the emotion take the hold
Kissing winds so thrashing, bold
Telling stories in the days of old
Seeking the notion of sanity; bold
Nothing more than a whimper
Upon the flames we find the shimmer
A kiss of death that’s of a thief
Emotions left …… in misbelieve
Sitting upon my throne at now
Wishing I knew just my query. How?
These nails have driven in my flesh
My soul has torment, no time for rest
Lay my head upon death’s breath
Blow along in subtle course
Find the misery at the source
For everyone looks past me now
So close to rendering
But lost somehow
We meet in sight but I’m a ghost
To your vision…. A loss at most
No matter how many times we pass
Your vision on me…. Will never last
So, kiss the sky and tuck me in
And ride the lightning
Soul free from sin