Jesus, My Beloved Savior

Forum for spiritual, inspirational and religiously oriented poetry and discussion.

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Forum for spiritual, inspirational and religiously oriented poetry and discussion.
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DarleneG
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Tag line: Encourage One Another
Location: San Diego, CA

Jesus, My Beloved Savior

Post by DarleneG » Thu Sep 20, 2012 2:01 am

Almighty God, precious God,

Your breath, fresh as the morning air.

I breathe in Your Holy Spirit,

And sense Your presence everywhere.


Jesus, my beloved Savior,

In You I place my trust.

Your shield of faith surrounds me.

Your ways are fair and just.


I meditate with music on.

I sit and wait and pray,

Listening for You,

And to what You have to say.


Soon I hear my Savior,

Singing in a hymn!

And oh how my soul expands

Listening to Him.










. :angel:
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"Poetry is what in a poem makes your toenails twinkle."----Dylan Thomas
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Jade
The Pages Passionate Princess
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:15 pm
Location: North Carolina, USA

Re: Jesus, My Beloved Savior

Post by Jade » Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:12 am

Oooooo this is beautiful and breath taking. You have such a gift! I love it.

When I read it I added one more sylable to the ending line... I see where you were matching though as well. Just thought I would let you know.

I bet you can feel the holy ghost when you sing this in praise!
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

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DarleneG
65 Roses
Posts: 769
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 5:29 am
Tag line: Encourage One Another
Location: San Diego, CA

Re: Jesus, My Beloved Savior

Post by DarleneG » Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:39 am

:hello: So nice to meet you peanutbutter. I'm glad you liked my poem. However, I do not understand about the last line? What do you mean? Does it need another word in there? "Like listening now to him" I do not have formal training in poetry. I just write from the heart. But I do like to Rhyme. What word would you add? I'm always open to learning and improving my poems. Thank you so much. Darlene :hearts:
*****************************************************************
"Poetry is what in a poem makes your toenails twinkle."----Dylan Thomas
*****************************************************************
**Member of the Month**
July 2012

User avatar
Jade
The Pages Passionate Princess
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:15 pm
Location: North Carolina, USA

Re: Jesus, My Beloved Savior

Post by Jade » Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:46 am

"As it completely takes Him in"

I like that. :\ Not sure if thats too much of a twist on where you were already at with your last line...

The pleasure is all mine Darlene. I have already formed a high opinion of your work. You write well. Glad I was able to "meet" you.
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

User avatar
Jade
The Pages Passionate Princess
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:15 pm
Location: North Carolina, USA

Re: Jesus, My Beloved Savior

Post by Jade » Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:49 am

Yes you do write from the heart... however there is no actual RULE of poetry. I mean, well, poetry, it just is. And you come to find your own style, your own rhythm, and even your own rhyme. The one that expresses you as though it were you. And when I read it, I will know it is you.
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

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Debbie
God's Poetess
Posts: 2266
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 3:40 pm
Location: Ontario Canada

Re: Jesus, My Beloved Savior

Post by Debbie » Sat Dec 01, 2012 12:00 pm

AMEN beautiful to be able to fellowship with the King Of Kings...
:thewave:
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Reach Out And Love Someone
Slow Down And Look around
You Will Find Someone Who Needs You.....

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