Why Is The Sky Blushing?

[DarleneG]

The blushing sky

under evenings spell,

Saw sun kissing sea

and did not tell.









.

[bags123]

Very nice Darlene! Way to go girl! Sometimes, the least said the better. Look at the Japanese Haiku. I rarely do myself,...but that's beside the point. I think what the form is attempting to capture is the momentous immediacy in which beauty itself is presented to us, and yet so many become unaware of it's presence. Anyway liked this one a bunch. Good work.

[DarleneG]

Thanks, bags! Now I am the one blushing from your comments. Does this qualify as a Haiku, or do I need to change the form? This poem was born when I watched the sunset by the sea last week.

[bags123]

A Haiku is generally a form whose first verse is 5 sylables long, 2nd verse is 7 long, and last verse is again 5 long. Heinz might be able to define it better for you,...so,...and example would be :
Cherry blossoms float

Gently in the Springtime breeze

Landing in dog @$#t.

I'm sure there are much better examples to be found,...but that's the general idea. I've never been a big fan personally,...but there are millions of Japanese who disagree.

[DarleneG]

Oh, no! Beautiful cherry blossoms do not deserve to land there! Yes, bags, I know about the 5-7-5 Haiku form. But I think there are other more modern Haiku forms that might fit my poem better. And yes, Heinz, (our poetry master)would know. Thanks!

[Gillian]

Darlene - simply beautiful, beautifully simple.

I'm not much for counting syllables, (Bags - I think you mean 1st line, 2nd line etc.). Haiku is "offically" meant to be three lines, and contain some reference to the seasons, and/or images from nature. It's a lovely little poem, which doesn't need a label.

Gillian

[bags123]

Lines,....yes. Thank you Chancellor.

[DarleneG]

Thank you, Gillian. for your helpful comments about this poem not needing a label. I guess we tend to do this to too many things! It's so gratifying that you and the others who have commented like this poem. What better subjects to write about then the many things that glorify the earth and remind us of our God. Blessings, Darlene