RESPONSE

Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well.

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Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well. If you wouldn't want your 12-year old daughter to read it, don't post it here.
Autoprune 12 months.
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LadySaturn
Ruler of Saturn
Posts: 3480
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2002 12:01 am
Tag line: Poet Laureate Nov 2011
Location: SATURN/SOMETIMES JUPITER.. HEH HEH HEH
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RESPONSE

Post by LadySaturn » Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:32 pm

RESPONSE

One... Two.. Breathe..
One.. Two.. Breathe..
Hello? Can you hear me?
Hello?
Someone get the doctor...
Looks like we've lost another one...

The world has gone mad.
But I refuse to be a part of that.
With every heartbeat
I fight to survive.
I fight to live.
To be something better than this.
And even though, I may look like the man who gave me life.
I refuse to be like him.
I refuse to be a liar.
To act like a fool
and destroy lives along the way.
The road less traveled
sometimes needs to be in order to grow.
In order to respond to all the negativity.
Critics love it
when your past is exposed.
It's nothing more than fair game to them.
So here I am with story in hand.
And I don't give a damn
what they think of me.
I'm not looking for approval.
I just need to breathe.
God, let me breathe...

One... Two... Breathe...
One.. Two... Breathe...
Hello? Can you hear me?
Hello?
Someone get the doctor.
Looks like we've got another one...

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jeannerené
Winter's Rose
Posts: 686
Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2002 12:01 am
Location: CA

Re: RESPONSE

Post by jeannerené » Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:18 pm

Very nice Lady,

I really liked how you tied beginning and end together. Nice progression of thought, as well.

Enjoyed.

~jeanne
... and his words purge up and outward,
expelled and onward through desert dust swallowed,
sands he says that gorge on simple sensibilities.
And, now he spits fragments, grit, extended vowels and elongated syllables
over cracked lips. Their sounds fall
piling round his boots…
~ jeannerené

Image

~breathe~


flickr -jeannerene photostream

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LadySaturn
Ruler of Saturn
Posts: 3480
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2002 12:01 am
Tag line: Poet Laureate Nov 2011
Location: SATURN/SOMETIMES JUPITER.. HEH HEH HEH
Contact:

Re: RESPONSE

Post by LadySaturn » Sun Mar 02, 2014 9:49 am

:hello:

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