Vacant Lot

[audiofool]

As the clock strikes two
the idea suddenly strikes you
as peculiar

the chaos in your head
the shifting shape on the bed
seems familiar

there's a knock at the door
you try hard to ignore
it's insistence

see through the eye hole
just a mouse and a mole
with persistence

I'm confounded
by the complexity
the enormity
and the gravity
of the situation

compounded by
multiple strands
defiled hands
impossible demands
capitulation

circling the globe
in pontifical robe
magisterial

I decide who should die
with the wink of an eye
incorporeal

you look all out of sorts
this is no amateur sport
don't you know?

you pray and you plead
there really is no need
this chariot swings low

there's a caller on the phone
talking in a somber tone
nobody's there

through the hole in the wall
I watched you winter the fall
someone who cares

the voice in your head
the reason for my dread
it's self-evident

as the clock strikes four
you're stricken once more
in your element.

[shellspace71]

[audiofool]

Thanks, shellspace71. It's about coping with mental illness, I think.

[bags123]

It's great that you're working with a rhyme scheme here, and you've written some excellent verses. I'm left confused however about what exactly it is your trying to have the poem to say? If I were you I'd start with a message you'd like to convey and consider how you'd say it normally. Then structure your
poetry (rhyme, meter, etc) around those ideas, concluding the poem with a final appropriate message.

[audiofool]

Can't a guy just enjoy his delusions? lol

Thanks, bags. Wait for Pt. II, which should prove less obtuse, as the character responds to meds and aromatherapy.