Future Imperfect.

Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well.

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Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well. If you wouldn't want your 12-year old daughter to read it, don't post it here.
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poeticpiers reborn
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Future Imperfect.

Post by poeticpiers reborn » Sat Sep 17, 2011 3:24 am

Future Imperfect

Beneath a gray and weeping sky.
I watched a horse drawn hearse go by
A sight we very rarely see
It seems to have more dignity

Than any slowly driven limousine.

Two horses black as ebony.
A well matched pair walk sedately
Almost as if the horses know.
The must put on a finer show.

Than any slowly driven limousine


The hearse itself is gleaming black
With etched glass windows in the back.
Through which it’s possible to see
The coffin more respectfully.

Than any slowly driven limousine.

The cortege as it passes by
Is guaranteed to catch the eye.
It is a sight that seemingly
Most people would prefer to see.

Than any slowly driven limousine.

Though fashions change there is a cost.
The sense of dignity is lost
Although I’m sure they do their best
Nothing attracts less interest.

Than any slowly driven limousine.

Saturday, 17 September 2011
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heinzs
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Re: Future Imperfect.

Post by heinzs » Sat Sep 17, 2011 10:04 am

Yes, much more civilized than a limousine hearse. There are few areas nowadays, though, where such can be accomplished. Modern cities no longer accommodate horses other than the few that still have mounted police patrols like San Francisco and New York, and those are limited to the parks.

Cheers Ivor!

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poeticpiers reborn
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Re: Future Imperfect.

Post by poeticpiers reborn » Sat Sep 17, 2011 10:45 am

Speed is of the essence in todays world. WE have no time to stand and stare.

Bruno
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Re: Future Imperfect.

Post by Bruno » Sat Sep 17, 2011 12:07 pm

...again! very well written on a kind of "distinction" I haven't thought of before and a great subject for a poem!

poeticpiers reborn
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Re: Future Imperfect.

Post by poeticpiers reborn » Sat Sep 17, 2011 12:25 pm

Anything can be the subject of a poem
I do not understand the concept of writers block.

Bruno
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Re: Future Imperfect.

Post by Bruno » Sat Sep 17, 2011 7:50 pm

Writer's block is not really a concept. It is often a period of gestation which can be quite frustrating but also quite transforming when the art reconfigures itself. It may be less intense for some and much more so for others. Processes take time. Congratulations if you never felt any such hiatus.

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bags123
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Re: Future Imperfect.

Post by bags123 » Sun Sep 18, 2011 7:13 pm

I loved the concept of this piece. The final line being repeated in each verse gave a very somber tone to the whole poem, which I'm sure was intended. A poem to meditate our own mortality with my friend. Well done. :cheers:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
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JukotoxKanashimi
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Re: Future Imperfect.

Post by JukotoxKanashimi » Mon Sep 19, 2011 7:05 pm

i want to echo what bags123 said about the concept of this poem. It was very very brilliantly executed with the repetition. Now I'm left pondering cost efficient but has it cost us something else? Hmmm.

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