Search found 210 matches
- Wed Jan 19, 2011 11:47 am
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: Workshop: What makes it poetry?
- Replies: 20
- Views: 15457
Re: Workshop: What makes it poetry?
I read with interest the example of what poetry is - I feel that poetry is an art form, but then again prose can be art too. Prose as an art can also say volumes beyond the words. These quotes come from Jean Sheppard's In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash "Steathly I dressed in my icy cordory knicke...
- Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:47 pm
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: Death Rolls In . . .
- Replies: 16
- Views: 13364
Re: Death Rolls In . . .
Thank you, Snarple, for your thoughtful reply. I have copied your comments and will go through them item by item. Thank you for your comments, Bee Jay, I have also copied them for further analysis of my poem. I can't tell you know much I appreciate each of you taking your time to help me with this p...
- Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:35 pm
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: Short Journeys
- Replies: 5
- Views: 4828
Re: Short Journeys
Perhaps you could have the moon rising?
- Sat Feb 09, 2008 7:40 am
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: my thief
- Replies: 5
- Views: 5212
Re: my thief
I enjoyed reading this. Can't think of a change.
- Sun Jan 27, 2008 8:27 am
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: Sipping Coffee At Chicago Airport Loungue
- Replies: 2
- Views: 3649
Re: Sipping Coffee At Chicago Airport Loungue
I hesitate to offer suggestions to one who has been sp [published, but here goes my ideas sipping coffee in the sprawling airport lounge at Chicago O'Hare is like entering a eclectically packaged world (chaotically) of freedom where the black coffee churns out memories of naked hand shakes a rustle ...
- Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:38 am
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: Wolfy
- Replies: 6
- Views: 5833
Re: Wolfy
Yes, you've come a long way. I like that you removed the "ing" from some of the verbs. I've always felt that present, unaltered tense is strongest in poetry. I probably will get creamed for this once again, but try playing with punctuation. I think one of the tricks is to Let your punctuation and li...
- Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:31 pm
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: February Workshop - The Country Estate
- Replies: 14
- Views: 9752
Re: February Workshop - The Country Estate
Ok, Heinz, I really liked this idea for a workshop, and I want to try it.
So - I start in the present with personification of an object
step back into the past with 5 I remember statements
Come back to the present - is this a wish statment?
So - I start in the present with personification of an object
step back into the past with 5 I remember statements
Come back to the present - is this a wish statment?
- Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:23 pm
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: Memory
- Replies: 6
- Views: 4927
Re: Memory
My grandmother was trained to be a concert pianist - chose "drek" - popular music of her time instead (1910's) But this poem brought back the memory of her!
- Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:19 pm
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: Dark
- Replies: 4
- Views: 4330
Re: The Darkened Kingdom
perhaps:Wending their way into rustic oblivion
Descending into the darkened kingdom
They wend into oblivion
as they descend (can't think of a word to help you here - sorry)
I too love fall poems.
- Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:10 pm
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: In Keeping Home
- Replies: 6
- Views: 5543
Re: In Keeping Home
The pain in this poem screams to be heard. I only have a couple of things that I might suggest - just tightening of wording, really. and blindness to the day. omit this line. While recovery is only a step away, beyond your walls; Omit "while" ever since he's gone away. change to "he went" But you al...
- Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:58 pm
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: Andante
- Replies: 7
- Views: 6585
Re: Andante
Obviously I don't agree with the assessment of education. But I think your poem is great, Heinz; I wouldn't change anything.
- Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:55 pm
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: tears
- Replies: 18
- Views: 11472
Re: tears
My shattered innocence spills across the floor proving to the world what has been done everything comes crashing down injustice has this day won. This has broken my heart killed all my childhood dreams twisted pleasure into pain my tears run in silver streams. I'm going to play with the original, i...
- Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:51 pm
- Forum: Poet Laureate October 2007 - March 2008: Nekot
- Topic: Spice of Life: Meet bags123
- Replies: 25
- Views: 32924
Re: Spice of Life: Meet bags123
Nice to get to know you Bags! sloppy
- Sun Dec 30, 2007 10:56 am
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: Death Rolls In . . .
- Replies: 16
- Views: 13364
Re: Death Rolls In . . .
Thank you, Heinz, I put it in the tribute section.
- Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:59 am
- Forum: In Tribute
- Topic: Death Rolls In . . .
- Replies: 1
- Views: 3172
Death Rolls In . . .
Death rolls in On the current of Life's tide Driven by forces outside man's realm It relentlessly crashes against the shore Death stretches its icy fingers Into the hearts of the living As it carries loved ones out to sea Beyond earthly reach Only gentle etchings in the sand Remain for those left be...